Kelly Bensimon's Name Is Too Valuable To Lend To Children's Charities

For most of this season of Real Housewives, Kelly Bensimon has been the drama-free party-hopper, until last night’s episode, when her toothy smile turned to fangs…over aversion toward charity work.

It all started when she had a play date with the disCountess to try on clothes and then refused to try on clothes, because she doesn’t like that activity, as it reminds her of her harrowing days of being a model. Then the disCountess brought up Jill’s charity event (for arthritic children), and how all the Housewives were expected to be involved. Kelly made this face.

She thought she’d dodged that bullet by dodging Jill’s phone calls saying, “I’m not very good at answering my phone.”

She said she wasn’t happy being forced into helping kids with arthritis because she doesn’t have time to work on her own charities, of which she has none. She also doesn’t like to “lend her name” to anything (except, I suppose, when she was the face for Clarins) because she’s a “private person.” Uh, a private person who’s voluntarily on a reality show with her children.

She eventually gave in and went to the charity meeting, showing up 30 minutes late, and leaving early. At the meeting, she said she didn’t know that Jill’s daughter had arthritis and that it’s “cute.” OK, first of all, that’s a weird thing to say, but secondly, why doesn’t she know that Jill’s daughter has arthritis? I knew that Jill’s daughter has arthritis. That, along with the fact that she didn’t know that Ramona hates Simon because he showed up at the all-girls dinner made it obvious that Kelly did not watch season 1 of Real Housewives of New York City. If her name and privacy are so important to her, why wouldn’t she do research on the reality show that would require that she relinquish both?

Furthermore, does she not read Page Six, which she writes for? Those fights were all over that shit.

Bethenny has her own theories on Kelly, saying that her reputation is someone who is really trying hard to be famous. Now, I love Bethenny, but her statement is like the skinny girl calling the ex-model thin. After an unsuccessful stab at being an actress (with nude scenes!), she was a finalist on The Apprentice. However, her story about how Kelly threw a party for Tommy Hilfiger’s wife, and wasn’t even awake when the party started, and then gave her number to Bethenny’s boyfriend at the time (photographer Kevin Mazur), at least made Bethenny’s beef with Kelly seem pretty valid.

My absolute favorite thing ever about last night’s episode, though, was when Jill said that Kelly needed to put a “brarawn.”

I’ve been talking about how I don’t have a brarawn when I blog to Dodai and Jessica ever since we watched the best Judge Judy episode in the world, in which two women from the Bronx beat the shit out of each other, resulting in one of them biting the other’s pinky finger off. (The biter told JJ that she “didn’t even have a brarawn.”)