VERY IMPORTANT WITCH UPDATE: on Sunday, Katy Perry visited Salem's oldest witchcraft store, where she allegedly performed a love magic ritual (possibly a euphemism for a "stop attracting demons" spell, meant to cleanse her spirit of that hell-duet she composed with John Mayer).
She also went to a Witch Museum and partook in the Salem Witch Walk; on the organization's Facebook page, she is pictured with some chill-ass witches, a dragon statue perched atop a crystal ball and dogs in human clothes. She is living inside of a beautiful dream:
Remember in Rolling Stone when Katy Perry was like, "I'll guess I'll just stick to hot dogs and baseball"? Katy, you can also stick to witchcraft! Never forget about witchcraft.
(Addendum: in case you were unconvinced that Katy Perry had the best weekend ever, she also went to a suburban Dunkin Donuts and ate munchkins.) [People]
Kendall Jenner, who is now very beloved by the fashion industry, has TWO Teen Vogue covers. In one she is wearing a hat; in the other she is not. Notably, the profile opens with a discussion of the question on everyone's mind: why does everyone keep bleaching off her eyebrows? (A: inconclusive.) [Teen Vogue]
Here is a photo of Kanye West, looking very happy while wearing shorts as Baby North perches atop his knee making her signature slightly-concerned face. A very cute photo indeed. [Billboard]
- Miley Cyrus left her leggings in New Jersey (easily identifiable as hers because covered in pictures of her face), so Niall from One Direction put them on in a public shower and stuck his tongue out, as one must do when channeling the spirit of Miley Cyrus. [ONTD]
- Vince Vaughn! Remember him? There are rumors he will be in the new season of True Detective floating around the Internet. [ONTD]
- Someone has finally asked Vanilla Ice what he thinks of the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme rap. Says Vanilla, "It really does not fit the theme of the Ninja Turtles legend. I think you have to understand, and be a true Ninja, to possess the Magic to really pull off the secret sound." [Bossip]
- Adam Levine posted his "first post-wedding selfie"; in it, he is wearing a rolled-up bandana and aviators, the exact accessories that shroud his soul. [E!]
- Megan Fox says her best on-screen kiss was Shia LaBeouf. [E!]
- Ok, I know I joked about this yesterday, but I think this might actually be a preview of Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein campaign :( Or maybe he just had someone come in and take HD pix of him eating cereal in his briefs because he's young and want to spend his riches wantonly. [MTV]
- HAIR UPDATE: Kristen Stewart brunette now. [People]
- Beyoncé and Jay Z kissed on the mouth at the end of their show in Seattle. [People]
- Khloe Kardashian posted a quote from Buddha along with a photo of herself and a Buddha statue, which probably means that she's having relationship issues with French Montana and is likely not related to Buddha. Good call, Radar. [Radar]
- This headline like it was written by someone trying to communicate with humans for the very first time: "Kim Kardashian's Booty Can't Be Ignored in These Tight Jeans—Until Her Cleavage Takes Over Jimmy Kimmel Live!" Nooooooooo. [E!]