Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we suffer through cuddling up to the decrepit old weekly tabloids, so you don't have to. This week: Katie Holmes is so distracted with being knocked up that Suri's going without shoes.

Also: Kendra lands yet another "exclusive" cover story, Brad is spying on Angie and Johnny, the dude from The Bachelor bores us to tears and Scott Disick is rammed down our throats. Good times!