Kate Middleton's Palace Decorating Scheme WILL NOT DO

Today in “British royalty being incredibly relatable,” Kate Middleton will be soon be redecorating her Kensington Palace home despite having just finished a renovation that cost £1 million in taxpayer money. According to The Daily Mail, the Duchess of Cambridge is unhappy with the color scheme she chose last year prior to the birth of her son. Naturally, they’re blaming the poor color choice on pregnancy hormones:

“She tried to do the revamp cheaply with the builders who did the kitchen, and she got Dulux paints to match the Farrow & Ball colour palette to save money,” [The Daily Mail was] told. “But she wasn’t happy with the result, and one room came out with a horrible, unexpected purple tinge. She’s blaming it on her hormones before the birth.”

Now, at the Royal Family’s own expense, they’ve hired “flamboyant” designer Ben Pentreath to give a “flamboyant” redesign to their not-yet “flamboyant” enough 2o-room apartment. How many “flamboyant” rooms does your apartment have? Only 15? I’m flamboyantly EMBARRASSED FOR YOU. (The Daily Mail thinks it’s very important that you understand how flamboyant — read: homo — Pentreath is.)

Anyway, the flamboyant redesign sounds flamboyantly great. That said, aren’t these people broke? Maybe, instead of hiring Pentreath, they should invite a bunch of friends over to help them paint and promise to pay them with beer, pizza and an earldom in the North. You know, like us normals do.