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• JWOWW wants Snooki to collaborate on a sunglasses collection. "I'm a good designer, but she's great with ideas. She tells me…and I can put them on paper," said JWOWW. Also, JWOWW would like Lady Gaga to wear her swimsuits. [People]

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German researchers have discovered that Victoria Beckham is the descendant of Communist Carl Heinrich Pfänder, who fled to London in 1848 after participating in the failed revolution with Karl Marx. In other news, up is down, lions have lain down with lambs and black is now officially white. [Reuters]

Bob Novak, by the way, is retiring today to focus on his brain tumor. That's a kind of karmic bullshit. [Editor & Publisher, Media Matters]

Gasoline prices are dropping, though, just as Obama announces that he thinks we should open up the strategic reserves to lower prices. [LA Times, NY Times]

In response, the McCain campaign is distributing tire pressure gauges to mock Obama's energy plan. Do they have a dedicated group of fratty morons making up strategy there or something? [Politico] More »
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• The latest YouTube sensation: Serbs in white jeans go on a shoplifting spree in heroic protest of Kosovar independence! It is like the "Chocolate Rain" of crappy people. They don't even seem drunk. Just greedy! (Video after jump)
• The cameraman told to "Get lost" by the girl so bogged down in stolen shit she can barely walk gets my I Want To Have His Babies Award for his response... [Reuters]
• The McCain sex scandal is dumb and now the New York Times has to do more damage control than Mr. Inappropriation himself. [NYT]
• But something happy came of it: "Stray Cock Express." [Alternet]

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]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=359941&view=rss&microfeed=true We thought Jason Wahler was a douchebag the first time he got caught acting like a drunk, racist homophobe while being arrested on unspecific charges of assholishness! But stories from Wahler's weekend altercation with a cop — whom he reportedly described as a "nigger" "faggot" and "poorfuck" (a new one!) a— spurred us to probe more deeply into the anatomy of this troubled young man's rage. More »
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