Justin Bieber was caught attempting to sneak out of an upscale Brazilian brothel with a sheet over his head. He and a friend had spent more than three hours inside, and they left with two women. In other words, the Goblin Prince of Little Shit Kingdom donned a ghost disguise while attempting to discreetly participate in sex tourism.
FYI: prostitution is not illegal in Brazil — it's been recognized by the Ministry of Labor as an official occupation since 2002 — but employing prostitutes is. The brothel that Bieber went to was raided by the police last year.
In a weird, kind of novelistic touch, the singing-dancing boy was identified by a very ugly tattoo on his wrist that's apparently supposed to be a drawing of former girlfriend Selena Gomez with angel wings, and also by his sneakers. (Also by the team of bodyguards surrounding him, spraying photographers with water and scolding them.)
Last week, Bieber allegedly paid a prostitute $500 for sex in Panama City. [Page Six]
As of today, Justin Bieber is no longer the most popular user on Twitter — possibly because his predominantly teen fanbase is sick of his ghost-Johning. [The Guardian]
In an interview with Elle, Lea Michele opened up about how Kate Hudson (who played her dance teacher on Glee) supported and helped her after Cory Monteith's untimely passing: when Lea's house was swarmed with reporters, Kate invited her to stay at hers. "Like it was nothing," says Michele. "I'll never be able to thank her, truly, for what she did for me."
She also talked about how she's coping with the pain and healing:
"I never thought I would be in this position in my whole life. Now that I am in this position, you can choose to rise, and that's what I'm going to try to do. I know that Cory would want nothing more than for me to take this situation and use it to help people."
Gaaah. She possess such admirable strength. [Elle]
Courtney Love says that she deserves a second chance after these few turbulent years: "Listen, if Natasha Lyonne can burn down a house and Robert [Downey Jr.] can go to prison for two years, I deserve a second chance. I know there is hope for me." Good point, C-Love!
Also, she addresses the possibility of a Courtney Love biopic in a very Courtney Love manner:
"No, no, no. There will be no biopic on me. I will never sell my publishing. I won't let that happen. I still get hit on by guys because they want to be cast in that Kurt Cobain biopic that's been in production for years. I could give you some [actors'] names that would blow your mind, but I am so not sleeping with someone under 38."
Sorry, 37-year-old aspiring Kurt Cobains. You have missed the cut-off for this nonexistent role. [People]
- Paula Abdul talked to the Associated Press about her pilgrimage to Israel; she was then promptly asked about her views on twerking. NO TALK OTHER THAN TWERK-SPEECH SHALL BE ALLOWED FROM NOW UNTIL THE END OF TIME. [Billboard]
- Lady Gaga had to clear up that her bisexuality is not a marketing thing. Sexual politics in 2013 are so much fun! [Bossip]
- In other Lady Gaga news, she broke up with that hot dude Taylor Kinney because her schedule is so hectic. [Hello]
- As the world still reels from the horrible devastation that was the Courtney Stodden/Doug I-Never-Learned-His-Last-Name breakup, yet another crushing blow has landed upon our conception of love and romance: Tan Mom and Tan Mom's Husband are getting divorced. RIP truth and beauty. [DListed]
- Michelle Pfeiffer accidentally joined a cult in the 80s. She became involved with a very manipulative "breatharian" couple and didn't realize what it was until her first husband was cast in a movie about the followers of Sun Myung Moon. [E!]
- The new One Direction music video is out; the plot centers around the fact that some of the band members are now capable of growing facial hair. [HuffPo]
- Niall Horan from 1D announced our engagement (congrats to Callie and Niall!!!!) as a caption to an Instagram of him and Katy Perry. Weird non-sequitur. [Gossip Cop]
- Where were you when you learned that Kristen Stewart was spotted at Robert Pattinson's house on November 1 of 2013? [HuffPo]
- Here; I got you this video of someone throwing a water bottle at Justin Bieber. [Gossip Cop]
- Pamela Anderson ran the NYC marathon in 5 hours and 41 minutes and raised $70,000 for charity in the process. Congratulations Pamela Anderson! [Gossip Cop]
- Move over, rumors about Miranda Kerr sexting Justin Bieber: the new best piece of gossip on the Internet is that Miley Cyrus hooked up with Benji Madden from Good Charlotte while she was dressed as Lil Kim. Benji Madden was hand-plucked by God from the ether of irrelevance to provide us with this glorious tidbit. Blessed be. [Page Six]
- While we are on the subject of Hot Topic-core bands, Panic! At The Disco wanted to use a Fiona Apple sample — for a song titled "Bad Apple — and she refused. HAHAHAHA. [ONTD]
- For Kendall Jenner's eighteenth birthday, the patriarchy got her at least six separate porn offers. My soul has vomited all of the soul-vomit and now I must rest. [ONTD]
- Let's cleanse our palates with these pictures of Britney Spears cheering at her sons' soccer practice whilst clad in Victoria's Secret sweatpants and Ugg-esque boots. [PopSugar]
- Here's Aubrey Plaza looking absolutely beautiful in a magazine called Foam. [ONTD]
- Nichole Scherzinger was acting extremely drunk on the X Factor, but apparently she was just "excited and getting into the disco spirit." Quick, everyone: file that excuse away for later use. [Hello]
- After Mel B got her tongue piercing, she made out with the other Spice Girls as a test/as a statement about girl power/just for fun/etc. She says that Emma Bunton and Victoria Beckham were "quite soft kissers," whereas Mel C and Geri Halliwell were "a bit more aggressive, passionate." The More You Know. [Radar]
- Frenzied humans paid so much money for Oprah's old possessions. Like, so much money — she raised $600,000 for charity with her yard sale. (Teapot: $1,000. An enlarged print of a TV guide photo of Oprah: $3,000. A set of six 18th-century Louis XVI armchairs with hand-embroidered details: $60,000. Touching something that Oprah's hand has lighted upon: priceless.) [People]