Earlier this week a flight attendant who works on Ron Perelman’s private jet was bitten by Barbra Streisand’s 12-year-old fluffball, Samantha, reports Page Six. After petting Sammie “without showing her hand first,” the flight attendant was given a bite that required her to get stitches, and Streisand is understandably “horrified” by the incident.

“This never happened before,” her rep said. “And Barbra apologized profusely to the flight attendant.”

OK, cool. Incident over. Nothing more to see here.

Or is there?

Check out this photo of Sammie Babs posted two weeks ago:

Nothing that special about an rich dog and her toy, but take a look at the caption.

I took this picture of Sammie playing with her “hot dog” as she calls it! #CotonDeTulear

“As she calls it”? I don’t want to start any wild and crazy rumors about Barbra Streisand, but I think this could suggest that, after 12 years of hiding, Babs got a little sloppy and accidentally dropped the truth about Sammie: she’s a genetically engineered super dog who can speak.

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Think about it. You’re a flight attendant on a private jet. You approach Barbra and her dog, who are alone in the cabin while Perelman takes a call in his office. They’re both relaxed. Completely vulnerable. You decided to ask if they need anything before falling asleep, but as you approach Sammie says with a yawn, “We don’t need anything, thank you.”

Everyone’s eyes widen. A nervous, sweating Barbra attempts to imitate the pooch and says, “Didn’t you hear me? I said we don’t need anything.” But you know what you heard, so you just stand there, frozen. And then, angry at herself for letting her guard down and desperate to cover it up, Sammie attacks your hand and everyone begins to scream.

Hours later, after the medic stitches you up and leaves the room, Barbra slips an envelope filled with cash in your bag. She leans in to your ear and whispers something you’ll never forget. “I don’t know what you thought you saw on that, but you’re wrong. So keep. Your mouth. Shut.”

But I could be wrong. Anyway, here’s a photo of Sammie not biting Celine Dion.

Images via Instagram.


Contact the author at bobby@jezebel.com.