Not content with wearing white dresses and slowly sashaying in front of people, Pippa Middleton has abandoned England to write for Vanity Fair about England. What she doesn't realize is that we left that fucking place over 200 years ago and would you kindly please stop shoving the Royal Family down our throats Vanity Fair, it's not like they're the Kennedys or anything.
Middleton's first piece will be featured in the magazine's July issue, and will be about Wimbledon – notable because it is the only Grand Slam played on grass – because she just loves tennis. She once even thought she could win Wimbledon as a child. Pippa likes tennis so much that she also thought she would get married one day in her "tennis whites" – and in shorts no less, proof that she knew her ass looked good in white long before the world did.
It's unclear what else she'll be writing about but tennis; so far we know Pippa's an expert on which tennis players are hot, having the same birthday as a couple tennis players and knowing what Roger Federer eats for breakfast. Graydon Carter, editor of Vanity Fair, assures us there's more coming though:
"We're delighted to have Pippa as a contributor to Vanity Fair. She's a keen observer of classic British pastimes. She is also an avid sportswoman, and we look forward to her take on traditional English pursuits, beginning with Wimbledon."
You hear that America, this is just the beginning.
Image via Clive Brunskill/Getty