• Lindsay Lohan has hired famed attorney Robert Shapiro to represent her, but it doesn't look like Shapiro is interested in getting Lohan out of her jail time:

• Anna Wintour is going all NIMBY on restaurateur Serge Becker. Becker has a new Jamaican restaurant opening near Wintour's West Village townhouse, and she's warned him not to plan any parties there that might generate noise — or smells. [PX]

• Eva Longoria Parker and Victoria Beckham are looking extraordinarily unlike themselves, even by the debased standards of airbrushed celebrity pictures, in these print ads for some LG phone. [SB]

• Apparently Naomi Campbell — who just weeks ago was boasting of having mastered her volatile temper — assaulted her chauffeur because he is also chauffeurs her boyfriend, Vladimir Doronin, and he refused to tell her if Doronin was cheating. [NYPost]

[Milan, February 8. Image via Getty]

• In what TMZ is billing as the "Decline of Western Civilization," Khloe Kardashian toured the White House and met President Obama today.

• Michaele and Tareq Salahi, the now-infamous White House party crashers, have "postponed" a planned appearance on Larry King Live in an attempt to instead make "hundreds of thousands of dollars" by selling their story to the highest bidder. [NYTimes]

• In her book Still Standing Carrie Prejean says, "I believed then and I believe now that marriage should be a legally recognized sacrament between a man and a woman. If that makes me a bigot, so is Barack Obama."

• Madonna is in Brazil, but not to meet Jesus' parents. She says:

• In an exclusive interview with Glamour, Rihanna discusses the year she's had: "I went to sleep as Rihanna and woke up as Britney Spears." She also talks about the picture released by cops:

• Mel Gibson "completely lost it" this weekend, according to a fellow churchgoer, who said he stood up in front of the congregation and "paced back and forth, furiously telling the congregation that he would not stand by and be judged and scrutinized."

• Madonna took Jesus Luz to a Kabbalah service. Again. This paper calls her "the world's most boring date." [Daily Mail]

• Angelina was on the red carpet in New York over the weekend, talking about her family. "Everybody's great," she said. "The babies are getting big and healthy and developing personalities." She says she has been a "little bit" sleep deprived but she and Brad find relief: "We have some help a couple of nights a week, so on those nights we catch up on our sleep." [UPI]
• Brad Pitt was there too: They are obviously not broken up. [Daily News]
• More from Angie: "Even if we lock our door, the children come knocking. We often try to have a bath alone together at the end of the night and sit and talk, but they hear the water and want to jump in. But it’s fun and it’s lovely – the thing about having six is once you’ve passed three or four, it’s so crazy anyway that it’s just more chaos and it’s all OK." When asked if she feels if she has completed her family, Angie said, "No." [Mirror]
• Angie somehow found time for two new tattoos: She now has the map coordinates of Nice, France, where her twins were born. [LA Times]
• But! As for adopting more kids Angie says: "I think we're going to wait a little while." [People]

• Apparently the DEA's massive investigation into Heath Ledger's death is unprecedented. Is this case "special" because of Heath's fame? [TMZ]
• The case is now closed, with Mary-Kate Olsen off the hook. [TMZ, Reuters, USA Today, People]
• Morgan Freeman, 71, is still in the hospital after his car wreck a week ago, and, as has been previously reported, has announced he's divorcing his wife of 24 years. They've been separated since December and have no kids. The woman in the car accident was Demaris Meyer, 48, a "friend." [Page Six]
• George Clooney is on vacation with Cindy Crawford, her husband and kids. They're all on a boat in the Mediterranean and I'm not. [People]

• As per her custody settlement, Britney Spears will get to see her sons 3 times a week, with two overnight visits and potential for more: It's basically like 40% of the time; not bad. [Yahoo News]
• Britney's new songs are, um, angry. The lyrics to one track: "You know they treat me like an ATM, but y'all know that I’m too good for ‘em." [Mirror]
• Britney made a rare public appearance on Saturday night: she attended Jenny McCarthy and Jim Carrey's fundraiser for Generation Rescue, an organization dedicated to researching autism. [People]
• Angelina Jolie left the hospital in Nice, France on Saturday, a week after giving birth to twins Knox and Vivienne. "Angelina left at 4 a.m. in a blacked-out ambulance," a source tells E! News. "And she's now back at Château Miraval with Brad, the kids, her brother, James Haven, and Bill and Jane Pitt, Brad's mom and dad." So many people. Full house! [Yahoo News, E!]
• Ronnie Wood of the Rolling Stones went to rehab after being on a "booze marathon," but instead of deciding to back to his wife, he's been pining for the 19-year-old model and cocktail waitress he'd been hooking up with. Maybe he hasn't fully sobered up yet? [Mirror]