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• Treasury Secretary Paulson and Fed Chair Bernanke were on the Hill today, metaphorical hats in hands, asking for gobs of money and the ability to spend it with no oversight. Unlike what Sarah Palin actually said about the Bridge To Nowhere, Congress told them, "No thanks." [Washington Post]
• Dick Cheney tried his hand at asking nicely, but House Republicans, knowing Cheney well, told him to go fuck himself. A couple of them then fist-bumped Pat Leahy on the way out of the meeting. [Politico]
• Ahmadinejad doesn't care who we elect because he plans to keep building his nukes regardless. [CNN]
• The Supreme Court issued a stay of execution for a Georgia man convicted of killing a police office on the sole basis of eyewitness testimony since recanted. Scalia, Alito and Roberts must have taken a really long lunch today. [CNN]

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]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5053900&view=rss&microfeed=true John Roberts is the dude who created one of my favorite recurring YouTube skits: The Jersey/Long Island Mom. (Check out his other classics The Christmas Tree and The Phone Call.) Maybe it's just a regional thing, but many aspects of his "mom" character resemble those of my mom, her sisters, and other women I've grown up around (replete with glasses upon glasses of white wine, compulsive cleaning, a wardrobe of workout gear, and talking on the phone while on the toilet). Anyway, here's an early Happy Mother's Day to all those moms out there, including mine, whose tendencies, while mortifying when I was younger, are nothing short of hilarious now. More »
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