It’s not that John Oliver would like to do away with the age-old faux pas of wearing white after Labor Day—after all, strictly-enforced fashion rules are for moms, and if Rihanna can wear this, the least the rest of us can do is wear our white sneakers through winter.

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Rather, he argues that “we should be using more holidays as arbitrary points to stop doing things.”

Oliver has a number of irritants in mind that he’d like to ban, but the most puzzling one is probably winking, which he refers to as both “like licking a pine cone” and “gross.” What an interesting thing to take issue with, considering that witnessing a botched wink is one of life’s great simple pleasures.