Jessica Chastain, the best friend I’ve never met, can communicate with spirits who have passed on to the other side. As the best friend she’s never met, I’ve known this for some time, but it’s probably big news to all her non-best friends. Page Six reports Chastain revealed her special talent on a recent episode of Today.
My almost best friend said she was staying in a London home when all the lights began to dim, after which they lit up “so brightly it felt like the bulbs were gonna explode.” After they suddenly turned off, Chastain exclaimed:
“All right, I acknowledge you, but I am so tired, please let me sleep!”
The ghosts listened and let her sleep.
When he’s not [allegedly] feuding with his wife Gisele, Tom Brady spends his time starting new feuds with popular food brands, like Coca-Cola and Kellogg’s.
During an interview with a Boston radio station earlier this week, Brady said he believes “we’ve been lied to” by food and beverage companies “over the years.”
“We believe that Frosted Flakes is a food... of course they taste very good. And of course all those companies make lots of money selling those things. They have lots of money to advertise... That’s the education that we get. That’s what we get brainwashed to believe, that all these things are just normal food groups, and this is what you should eat.”
But Mr. I Hate Tony the Tiger didn’t stop there:
“You’ll probably go out and drink Coca-Cola and think, ‘Oh yeah, that’s no problem.’ Why? Because they pay lots of money for advertisements to think that you should drink Coca-Cola for a living? No, I totally disagree with that. And when people do that, I think that’s quackery. And the fact that they can sell that to kids? I mean, that’s poison for kids. But they keep doing it.”
Brady’s new enemies quickly released statements defending their products, because this is the world we live in. Kellogg’s said cereal is a “delicious and nutritious breakfast,” while Coca-Cola said all their products “are safe and can be enjoyed as part of a balanced lifestyle.”
I bet Tom and Clover have a lot in common.