Jenny McCarthy Turns to Her Guru to Get Her Through Media 'Beatings'

For those who don't live in the Chicago, Illinois area, you might not be aware that Jenny McCarthy has a column for the Chicago Sun-Times' lifestyle section Splash. Her appointment to said position was not without criticism; as Chicago media columnist Robert Feder wrote at the time, "That sound you’re hearing is Mike Royko, Sydney J. Harris and Herman Kogan spinning in their graves," a reference to three of the city's most famous and well-respected journalists. Since its launch, McCarthy's column has lived up to its original hype, and Wednesday's was no exception: it's all about how she's using her spirituality to handle the rumors flowing about her potential dismissal from her hallowed post at The View.

McCarthy's short tenure at the show has not gone smoothly. Though ratings are relatively the same as before she joined, earlier this week, Radar Online published a piece that claimed that, according to an anonymous source, "viewers want to tune out the second she opens her mouth!” The show's executive producer has denied the rumors, but it must be frustrating to find out that the blonde you replaced, one Elisabeth Hasselbeck, has delivered a 20 percent bump over at Fox News.

It is frustrating, McCarthy has revealed over in Jenny's Corner [not the actual name of her column]. But luckily, she has her "favorite guru Byron Katie" to look to. Byron Katie always says, “Until you look forward to criticism, your work is not done." Well actually the real quote is, "Until you look forward to all criticism, your Work’s not done," but let's not act like we're publishing in a publication once-lauded for its journalism:

If you break that down, it means, “If something upsets you, then that is exactly what you need to work on spiritually.” After the amount of “beatings” I’ve endured in the media over the years, I thought I’d mastered this lesson.

Please note that "beatings" is in quotes, just in case there was confusion that McCarthy might have been referring to actual ritual beatings that the newsmedia has performed upon her during their seances.

McCarthy explains that she hadn't even known about the reports that she was going to be canned until her bosses told her that they weren't true, the work equivalent of having your boyfriend tell you don't worry, I'm not sleeping with that girl you didn't think I was sleeping with. She then name-drops how Barbara Walters herself asked Jenny if she wanted to address it on air.

This was the time most people would have just called it quits, thrown in the towel and dumped their "spiritual toolbox" out the window in a fit of rage. But not Jenny:

This was the moment I had to reach inside my spiritual toolbox. I noticed my ego wanting her to do just that — to go on and defend me. Then I heard Byron Katie again: “The first act of war is defense.”

There's that Byron Katie again! She's always speaking to you, creeping into your head when you most need her, with so much wisdom:

McCarthy realized she had to remember life's most important lesson: Don't let the haters stop you from doing your thang! Or in her words, "If I started defending lies, I would be in a constant state of defending myself — and the haters would win."

McCarthy didn't end with dwelling about the haters. As Eton Michelle, a spiritual leader who I just made up, always says, "The path to spirituality is always the path of most resistance," and so Jenny searched for the truth:

I ask myself, “What if it were true?” I imagine the worst-case scenario and play it out in my head. You know how it always ends?

It ends with me surviving.

And with friends like these, why worry?

Watching, Not Reacting [Splash]

Image via ABC