Jennifer Lawrence Breaks Up With That Guy From the Thing

Jennifer Lawrence is reportedly citing "busy schedules" as the reason behind breaking things off with that dude she's been going out with for awhile. You know that guy.... from the thing? Was it The Avengers? Nah, I think it was X-Men. Yes, it was definitely X-Men.

Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult — an actually kind of famous actor who has appeared in About A Boy, Warm Bodies, and Skins — were off-and-on for over three years, a fact that I was unaware of until I learned from the New York Daily News that they were breaking up, like, just now. In my defense, I'm placing the blame for me not knowing who her boyfriend was solely on J-Law, who from 2011 through mid-2013 kept charming my eyeballs away from anyone around her on the red carpet and made me unable to react to any articles written about her personal life without stopping after the first paragraph and ejaculating, "SHE'S SO COOL!" to whoever was unlucky enough to be around me at that moment.

Hoult was most recently spotted eating sushi with Kristen Stewart in Tokyo. That's not a filthy euphemism; they're both shooting another X-Men movie there and they're not involved. Kristen Stewart is to relationships what banshees are to Irish nobles in folklore: she always seems to appear right around the time they die.

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