Jeff Goldblum Tells Reddit AMA He Would Like to Be a 'Surf Goldblum'

Jeff Goldblum granted us mere mortals with the glory of his presence via a Reddit “Ask Me Anything” and it was as kooky and lovely as you could imagine.

Goldblum, proprietor of America’s most Goldblumiest dining establishment ever, answer the kind of questions you’d expect a guy like Goldblum to answer on an Internet forum.

[I]f you could splice your DNA with another organism, what would you choose and what would be your name?

Hahahaha. Let’s see. Off the top of my head, I’d splice myself with a dolphin, and my name would be Surf Goldblum.

By the way, that crazy stampede you here outside your window is the sound of everyone running to the courthouse to have themselves officially re-named “Surf Goldblum.”

Also, more proof that he is a medical freak:

Can you tell us something about yourself that we may find surprising?

I’ve never had a cavity or a filling.

Of course not. When your DNA is spliced with that of a fly, you obviously don’t need to worry about dental hygiene, duh.

But let’s skip these superficial questions, and get down to the heart of the matter.

What is your favorite dinosaur? I have you pegged for a stegosaurus man.

I’m no expert but since childhood I’ve had a fondness for the triceratops, because I read a kid’s book about a kid who finds an egg in his backyard, and it’s a triceratops, and he rides it. Remember that book? That’s the one! And then they take him to Washington. Boy, you’re into dinosaurs, you really know them.

AND of course, a question from the Edward R. Murrow of Reddit AMA question-askers:

Where the hell do you buy your bowties? I’ve looked high and far for that one you wore on Conan. No luck!

Brooks Brothers. They are reversible.

There you have it, folks. Jeff Goldblum is a DNA-spliced, reverse-bowtie wearing dolphin. As if you didn’t already know.