A $1,200 Girl's Dress Exists, and It's Basically a Tutu on Steroids

Jean Paul Gaultier’s new spring 2014 kids’ collection revealed it’s first look — a souped-up tutu that costs $1,200.

That’s correct. For the price of my current car, you can own a couple pounds of silk and tulle in either pink ($49.90 dance recital costume) or white (child bride). You know what that means, right? It means that people who have only been on this Earth since 2009 and sometimes still shit their pants have nicer clothes than you do. Clothes that they’ll probably spill dirt/Jello/snot on it the first opportunity they get.

And where are kids supposed to wear this? To the first day of Kindergarten? Hell, I feel bad for these kids! Parents who buy their daughter a $1,200 dress are probably not too cool with that daughter actually being a child. I’m picturing the saddest little girl ever, sitting in a corner and staring out the window as kids in leggings from Old Navy build dirt castles and fart in sandboxes. I’m about to make myself cry over the plight of the rich. Jesus H.