• Is Kristen Stewart gay?

• Mariah Carey has pulled out of a Tyler Perry film.

• Last night Lindsay Lohan Tweeted, "Anyone else have a father that sells fake stories on them for money & dates a girl that works for tabloids?" Michael Lohan responded by declaring Lindsay's a drug addict at a press conference.

• The police were called to the home of Sandra Bullock and Jesse James yesterday:

• Uh-oh. Sandra Bullock has left the family home.

• Martha Stewart's ex-best friend has written a book, in which she claims that Martha is desperate for a new husband.

• Is Brad Pitt done with showbiz? It almost seems like he's dropping hints:

• That guy Oprah was leaning on during the Election Day rally in Chicago — whom she thanked on her show, saying, "I don't know who you are, but thank you, Mr. Man!" — is named Sam Perry. He worked at the Silicon Valley Obama office. [Breitbart]
• Mr. Man will be on Oprah's show today! [Chicago Sun-Times]
• Speaking of Oprah, she may have delivered between 400,000 and 1.6 million primary votes for Obama. Someone better get to sleep in the Lincoln bedroom! [Newser, via ABC News]
• Will.i.am has a video celebrating Barack Obama's win, and it will debut on Oprah's show today. [USA Today]
• Radiohead's Thom Yorke was so psyched Bush is leaving office, he posted a free remix of a song in his website. [Rolling Stone]
• People waiting in a U.S. Customs queue at Kennedy Airport on Tuesday booed Naomi Campbell as she skipped the line, escorted by a passport-screening officer. Weren't they afraid of hurled cell phones? [Rush & Molloy]
• You know how Kim Cattrall said there would be a Sex And The City sequel? Sarah Jessica Parker says, "I'm thrilled to know Kim is excited but all the deals are not yet done." Me-ouch. [Daily Express, People]

• Brad Pitt has donated $100,000 to the campaign to defeat Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that would ban same-sex marriage in the state. In a statement, he says: "Because no one has the right to deny another their life even though they disagree with it, because everyone has the right to live the life they so desire if it doesn't harm another and because discrimination has no place in America, my vote will be for equality and against Proposition 8." [Variety]
• Hilary Swank is recovering from a "minor" medical procedure; she had a "growth" removed and is totally fine. Except the word "growth" is sorta gross. [ET]
• Amy Poehler is sad about leaving SNL: "I'm on the verge of tears every minute. The cast and writers there are so dear, dear to me. I can't quite imagine not doing it. From now until my due date, we have about six shows and three election specials. I'm so, so sad about leaving." [USA Today]
• Oprah's BFF Gayle King spills on O's 30 Rock stint! "It is a hoot," Gayle tells New York magazine. "It was taped last Saturday. Let me tell you, Tina Fey and Oprah Winfrey together is magic. Oprah and Tina together: Hilarious. H-I-L-A-A-A-R-I-O-U-S." [NY Mag]

• OMG Bobby Brown's autobiography is going to be sofa king awesome: "I never used cocaine until after I met Whitney. Before then, I had experimented with other drugs, but marijuana was my drug of choice. At one point in my life, I used drugs uncontrollably. I was using everything I could get my hands on, from cocaine to heroin, weed and cooked cocaine." [Page Six]

• Owen Wilson's suicide attempt came on the heels of a three-day binge on crystal meth and "hillbilly heroin," aka Oxycodone, reports the Mirror. Yikes. [Mirror]

• Senator Craigslist says that not only is he not gay, he has never been gay, including when he was arrested three months ago and also back in 1982 when he had to deny he was gay on account of all the young boy Congressional pages he'd plied with drugs and alcohol and fucked, which very neatly explains, you see, why he plead guilty.

• Pete Doherty: arrested for drug possession. Again. [Guardian]

Welcome back to Midweek Madness, the Wednesday refresher course in all the week's most important news we provide you free of charge so you don't fail the exam. In which we (and our trusty TA who does all the work) Intern Maria "read" the Wednesday celebrity tabs. So you don't "have" to.

• "You know my gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it." Our gratitude will totally skyrocket when they release this woman to the media that is paying somewhere between zero and a million dollars to use and be mean to her face! [Washington Post] [NY Times]