Sofia Vergara hosted SNL, which returned from a 2-week hiatus last night just in time to feature a Hunger Games skit that was a little heavy on the enthusiasm and a little light on the Bill Hader. One Direction performed to a lot of screaming, which might not have been so jarring in studio but definitely isn't a pleasant sound to hear late at night when you're alone in front of the television and your imagination gets carried away with images of a person being brutally murdered in the apartment next door, their cries for help complemented almost seamlessly by One Direction fans.

The highlight of the evening, though, was a commercial directed to antiquing bros everywhere — "Just Friends" booty shorts, the disconcertingly tight cotton-polyester blend shorts that announce to the entire eyebrow-raising world that two men buying lattes together, feeding each other hot dogs, and browsing antique shops for decorative rotary phones most definitely are not doing it, or, if they are doing it, they're still just friends. Watch Jason Sudeikis and Andy Samberg liberate their pasty winter thighs and skip gleefully around New York — it's the gayest not-gay thing you'll see all day, unless there's some sort of Easter egg hunt today at one of Stefon's favorite hotspots.