What do you do when the Fifty Shades of Grey tour de publicity is running itself into the ground? Send one of your stars (not both, just one, because remember: they hate each other) to read lines from the book in foreign accents with Jimmy Fallon!

Jamie Dornan, it turns out, does an amazing Scottish brogue; perhaps especially notable because he's saying: "I don't remember reading about nipple clamps in the Bible." Fallon gets most of the laughs, and Dornan nervously rubs his beard about a million times, but hey, overall—not bad!