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You guys: Bristol Palin did not have plastic surgery. Nope. Not at all. What she had was "corrective" jaw surgery. If you think she looks better now, it's just a coincidence! "Yes, it improved the way I look, but this surgery was necessary for medical reasons," Bristol tells Us magazine. She explains that she had the procedure so that her jaw and teeth would align properly. Growing up, she had braces, but the dentist warned her that she might need surgery someday. We always thought that this kind of surgery required having your jaw broken, reset and wired shut — a process that could take a year or so — not an in-and-out thing, like, say, a chin implant. But Bristol will have us know that she is not the kind of girl who would have a purely cosmetic procedure: "I wouldn't get plastic surgery unless I got in an accident or something terrible and got disfigured." Aren't you glad that is cleared up? Phew. [AP] More »
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• Kevin Smith says the way the media covered him being kicked off a Southwest flight was, "Pathetic. I was unfairly bounced and discriminated against, but they never bothered to tell that story. They just went with the easy fat jokes."

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James Frey's six-word memoir for It All Changed in an Instant: More Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure is "So would you believe me anyway?" Feel free to write your own six-word celebrity memoirs in the comments. [PageSix] More »
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• There's the usual gloom, sex, scandal and, ahem, 50 Cent's makeup line - today, but first, brace yourselves: Michelle Obama has not RSVP'd to Fashion Week. This woman's priorities are way out of whack! [WWD]

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• Before we tackle today's inevitable layoffs, liquidations and bankruptcies, look at David Beckham. Look at semi-naked David Beckham. In his very important new Emporio Armani ad. Why, good morning to you, Dave. [People]

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In the biggest literary hoax since... well, last week, when that Holocaust memoir turned out to be entirely fabricated, 33-year-old Margaret B. Jones, whose new memoir of foster homes and gang violence, Love and Consequences, has been revealed to be a hoax by the New York Times. In Love and Consequences, Jones — actually Margaret "Peggy" Seltzer — claims to have grown up in South Central L.A., running drugs for the Bloods and watching her foster brothers gunned down by gang members. In reality, Peggy grew up in the sheltered L.A. suburb Sherman Oaks, and attended private Episcopal academy the Campbell Hall School in North Hollywood (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen are fellow Campbell Hall alums). The story even has a soap opera twist: Peggy's sister, 47-year-old Cyndi Hoffman, is the one who blew the whistle on her. More »
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Pageant contestants never cease to be reliable sources of diva debauchery/ inevitable redemption. The latest tale of beauty queens gone wild comes courtesy of Miss France, 22-year old Valerie Begue. Having just won her title three weeks ago, Begue is battling criticism following the release of the inevitable "sexy" photos making their way around the Internets. (One photo, oddly enough, features Begue "licking what appeared to be yogurt or evaporated milk." Shades of Miss New Jersey!) Perhaps she could use some advice from former Miss USA Tara Conner? Conner, who, in 2006, was caught doing lines and chugging 40's like it was nobody's business and given a "second chance" by Miss USA pageant-owner Trump, has just signed a lucrative book deal for a memoir on her time in rehab, she announced this morning. More »
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• Heath Ledger: continuing his "Michelle who?" tour by being seen making out with model Helena Christensen. [Page Six]

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• WWD turns to everyone's favorite reputable source, reluctant fiction-writer James Frey for comment on the literary merits of Cynthia Rowley's new children's book, Slim. "I am very familiar with the genre of fantasy memoirs," he says. [WWD, 1st item]

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]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=256364&view=rss&microfeed=true What is it with Oprah Winfrey? Anyone who witnessed the flamingly heterosexual Tom Cruise pounce on her couches ranting of his love for poor dear Katie Homes must have wanted to wack Oprah round the head with a copy of A Million Little Pieces, when she went on to crucify James Frey. Is there an in-crowd and an out-crowd for liars? Tom - have a couch and bounce, bounce, bounce for your fake love. James, screw you, you lying little bastard. More »
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