As the old urban legend states: if a former child actor whispers "performance piece" three times into a blogger's ear, the vengeful spirit of James Franco will appear and write a self-indulgent opinion piece for the New York Times. And so it has happened.
Specifically, James Franco has written an op-ed about Shia LaBeouf's antics. "Though the wisdom of some of his actions may seem questionable, as an actor and artist I'm inclined to take an empathetic view of his conduct," says James Franco. He goes on to compare himself and LaBeouf to Marlon Brando and Joaquin Phoenix and then is casually like, "Hey, remember when I did a performance piece, too? That was pre-tty cool":
At times I have felt the need to dissociate myself from my work and public image. In 2009, when I joined the soap opera "General Hospital" at the same time as I was working on films that would receive Oscar nominations and other critical acclaim, my decision was in part an effort to jar expectations of what a film actor does and to undermine the tacit — or not so tacit — hierarchy of entertainment.
"I think Mr. LaBeouf's project, if it is a project, is a worthy one," he concludes. Oh, James Franco. [NYT]
Kit Harrington, whom you may better know as Jon Snow from Game of Thrones, went on Jimmy Kimmel and made some non-Jon Snow facial expressions, which is noteworthy in and of itself. He also shared an interesting fact about his family history: his great-grandfather invented the toilet. This news was greeted by thunderous applause from the crowd. We are all here for the toilet. [ONTD]
Michelle Rodriguez was spotted entering a limo with Cara Delevingne; she was wearing pants, as one does. Later, she was spotted getting out of the limo with no pants on — and Cara exited the limo right after her, casually holding said pants in her hand. They are really the most fun celebrity couple in the universe. [TMZ]
- Harry Styles missed the first half of One Direction's "Global Success Award" acceptance speech because at the BRIT Awards because he was "having a wee." Ok, call me a traditionalist, but I thought the award for global success was just attaining global success? [Gossip Cop]
- Kimora Lee Simmons married her boyfriend, who is a banker, in secret. [E!]
- Miley Cyrus is wearing a very beautiful wig on the cover of her "Adore You" remix; she's also not wearing a shirt, and people are still trying to act like that's salacious. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ [NY Daily News]
- Someone made a timeline of Taylor Swift's evolving (??) hairstyles. Quick, print it out and staple it into the history textbooks. [HuffPo]
- Literally the only thing less interesting to me than Facebook buying WhatsApp is Ashton Kutcher's opinion on it. [Just Jared]
- Ellen DeGeneres says that she loves Portia De Rossi "so much it kills me." [HuffPo]
- Ugh, all of this is fucking awful: Perez Hilton said that Ariana Grande was "dressed awfully with boring hair" at the Grammys, prompting her fans to say horrible stuff about his baby son. In response, Perez started rabidly spreading rumors that she has a coke problem. Everyone, get off the Internet. [ONTD]
- The paparazzi offered Adam Brody Taco Bell and congratulated him on his marriage to Leighton Meester. [ONTD]
- Could Lorde and Taylor Swift collaborate song a song? Liiiiike, maybe. [ONTD]
- Katie Holmes says that New York "has been good" to her and Suri. MAYBE BECAUSE I LIVE THERE. [People]
- ALERT: Robert Pattinson dyed his hair black. I hope you are all adjusting to the change okay. I know stuff like this can be very jarring. [PopSugar]
- Jessie J wore weird lipstick but we'll all be fine, I promise. [ONTD]
Images via Getty, Pacific Coast News.