According to soon-to-be-overturned Tennessee Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew (bottom left), you can't name a kid Messiah (right). Not because it's a really stupid name—says the guy named Jesus—but because it can only be our Lord and Savior's "title." Lady, Messiah is not the Messiah. He's just a very naughty boy.
In yet another case of religion meets stupidity meets power, Tennessee Child Support Magistrate Lu Ann Ballew changed a 7-month-old boy's name to Martin from Messiah, saying the religious name was earned by one person and "that one person is Jesus Christ."
Even though Messiah was No. 4 among the fastest-rising baby names in 2012, this judge took it upon herself to tell the parents — who were in court to determine what last name Messiah should have — that there first name choice was unfit. Cue the peanut gallery asking where this judge was when Apple and North were chosen.
Messiah's mom is appealing the judge's decision, and it'll go before the Cocke County Chancellor on Sept. 17.