Image via Getty.

Mother of God. I want to tell you something. I have something at the pit of my stomach, and I have something that was dumped into my lap. I don’t want to be the one to have to tell you this.

After changing her name to “D’Agostino” (not the grocery D’Agostinos), changing her Twitter name to Luann D’Agostino, giving up her “Countess” title, recording a Real Housewives tagline that said “The only title I trade countess for... is wife,” weathering a cheating scandal on her engagement party weekend, and getting in a fight with fellow cast member Bethenny Frankel for telling her that she was being cheated on, Luann has jointly filed for divorce from Tom D’Agostino after a mere eight months of marriage.

Advertisement

Love, my dear friends, is a “bitchy witch,” to borrow a phrase Ramona Singer recently used to describe Bethenny.

Tom “loved the nurse from Connecticut [De Lesseps was once a nurse], not the reality TV star,” a source told Page Six, which seems rather unlikely, because he started dating her multiple decades after she worked as a nurse and well into her reality career. (He’s also been making cameos on RHONY since season one.) They reportedly filed in Sag Harbor, Long Island, where Luann has a house, indicating that at least one of them had hoped to keep the split from the press. But minutes after the story went live, Luann tweeted the following:

It feels like it was yesterday that Luann wore “not one, not two, but three appropriate pieces” at her Palm Beach wedding that—of the current Real Housewives—only Dorinda was invited to. It feels like just weeks ago (it was) that Luann allegedly slapped Tom in a fancy Manhattan restaurant and then claimed it was a “face hold” or a “love pat.” Luann’s castmates, in particular Ramona, have spent a lot of time reminding Luann that she married a guy who (allegedly) keeps publicly cheating on her, but Luann—bless her—really went balls to the wall on this relationship, waving her ring around and glowing determinedly and demanding a nicer room in Bethenny’s rented ski chalet because she was a newlywed. Page Six reported a few weeks ago that Luann only went ahead with the wedding to save face—and cash—but still, I’d hoped they’d cling on a little longer.

Ramona, on the other hand, is having a blast.