A new "investor sentiment report" found that rich people don't actually feel like they're rich until they've amassed at least $5 million—in fact, they specifically feel "poor." Their words, not mine. Which is weird, because I sometimes feel like I'm rich when I take a cab, or if I'm home alone with leftover pie, and the closest I've ever come to having a million dollars was that time the bank fucked up and I had negative a million dollars.

Via ThinkProgress:

Rich investors say that it takes at least $5 million to feel wealthy, according to a new investor sentiment report from UBS. Meanwhile, two-thirds of millionaires don’t consider themselves to be wealthy.

They also define being wealthy not as having a certain amount of money, but having “no financial constraints on what they do.” That does indeed likely come with a large price tag.

Guh. Okay, guys. Boo hoo. The problem with money is that no amount of money is enough money. I remember when I got my very first salaried job, which worked out to maybe $10/hour, I was all, "I'm rrrrrrrrich! Goodbye, city life!" But, of course, you eat those dollars up almost immediately. Then you make a few more dollars. You eat those up. You buy albacore instead of store-brand tuna. A dishwasher becomes indispensable. And up and up and up until you're a four-millionaire and feel like a pauper because you don't have your own island. I guess.

And then, by the time you have enough money that you feel like you have enough money, you have too much money and you're basically an alien. I'm not an economist (at ALL, I KNOW), but I'm going to go out on a well-trodden limb and guess that this shit is at least part of the reason why wealth doesn't actually "trickle down." Why investing in "job creators" doesn't make us all richer. Because if there's one thing human beings are fucking great at, it's turning wants into "needs" and rationalizing selfishness. WOOHOO HUMANS.