Image via Dreamworks.

The Boss Baby, an animated children’s movie starring the voice of The Actor Man Alec Baldwin as a baby who defies all odds, social norms, and expectations for humans who have not yet learned how to go pee pee in the potty by becoming a boss, is scheduled to be released in theaters across this weary country on Friday, and the headlines for its scores of middling to negative reviews are the very best things currently on the internet.

Allow me to prove my point:

[CNN]

[The Atlantic]

[The Orange County Register]

[The Seattle Post-Intelligencer]

[The Californian]

[Westword]

[USA Today]

[Metro]

[Las Vegas Weekly]

[Tampa Bay Times]

[Splash Report]

[BG Daily News]

[The Fresno Bee]

[The LA Times]

[The Kansas City Star]

[Cleveland.com]

[The Northern Star]

The Boss Baby comes out tomorrow. Several Jezebel staffers are considering purchasing tickets.

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