Introducing Pheasant (Pheasident?) Donald Trump!

By JE Reich  |  June 1, 2016 | 3:15am
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Meet the bird world’s answer to a part-time Bozo the Clown impersonator, part-time bombast with a penchant for saliva. Introducing: pheasant (Pheasident?) Donald Trump!

The presumptive GOP presidential nominee’s avian doppleganger, which has been described by The New York Post as “a bird with the best, most amazing, most tremendous golden-orange crest atop its head,” was discovered on April 7 in Queens, New York. According to NY Post, which broke the story, the unidentified person who found the bird told the dispatcher that “Donald Trump was in their backyard.”

(My first thought? Dear God, now there are two of them.)

The reason for the removal, according to Animal Care and Control spokeswoman Katy Hansen, was “especially because they are Democrats.”

After arriving on the scene, Pheasident Trump was moved from an undisclosed location in Queens to avian hospital the Wild Bird Fund, located in New York’s Upper West Side.

As if you were expecting otherwise, the Fund’s executive director Rita McMahon told NY Post that the avian species’ worst nightmare “likes strutting around the place” and “interested in the other female birds here — even though they’re not his species.” Replace “female birds” with “female journalists” and “not his species” with “not interested in feuding or anything about you,” and that sounds about right.

“He actually tries to mount some of the ducks,” McMahon added.

Then again, the DonaldBird is actually a species of pheasant native to China—which means that Trump’s avian alter-ego is from the very same country which the presidential hopeful accuses of stealing American jobs.

Ah, yes, sometimes victory is sweet.

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Image via NY Post/Twitter.

 
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