Ok, I hear you, but, counterpoint: I love Kristen Wiig's ridiculous Golden Globes dress. It looks like one of my dearly departed grandmother's fancy tablecloths mated with a rogue vintage McCall's pattern, and I'm feeling that, big time. Shut your face, it's fucking awesome.

Don't even pretend like you can't feel the Caribbean sun kissing your shoulders when you look at that dress. It makes me want to smoke a pack of Virginia Slims, sitting in one of those peacock chairs while wearing a giant hibiscus flower in my hair and posing for a sepia-toned photograph that'll be uploaded to Reddit in 40 years as a testimony to my onetime chill hotness. Into it. If you need me, I'll be at the Palm Springs Goodwill, desperately hunting for the nearest thing. (Also some more caftans.)

Photo via Getty, AP Images.