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The literary event of the century will be the release of Lil Wayne’s memoir, Gone Til November, about the eight months the rapper spent on Rikers Island after he was found guilty of firearms possession back in 2010. You’ll have to wait until October 11 to read it in full, but a preview from Page Six suggests that it’ll be packed with goodies, pulled entirely from the thorough journals he kept during his stint in New York City’s most notorious jail. Let’s jump in:

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He describes how he playfully married off two other male inmates, and they decorated the hall with toilet tissue and toasted with 13 bottles of Gatorade. He wrote, “Gatorade is liquid gold in this bitch . . . Imagine seeing grown-ass men in jail hanging tissue for wedding decorations. AND one of them is Lil Wayne. Crazy.”

Crazy. Weezy also spent a lot of time watching American Idol and...maybe boning down with some female guards?:

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He admits he missed sex, but early in his stay two female officers were suspended for coming to see him. “Maybe there will be some female groupies in this bitch after all,” he wrote.

He also asked a female visitor to arrive without underwear so she could “do a Basic Instinct,” but she got caught because

“they have extensive-ass searches before you come in here, so they made her put on a pair of boxers because they knew she didn’t have on panties. Damn!”

Damn! But that setback was nothing compared to the devastating news that Drake had hooked up with his girlfriend.

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“Finding out that she [expletive] Drake was the absolute worst thing I could have found out,” he writes. Drizzy came to see me, he was like, ‘Yeah, it’s true’. Damn! This is the type of [expletive] a man never wants to find out while he is locked up.”

Damn again! But hardship breeds creativity, and Lil Wayne’s experiences helped mold him into the artist he is today.

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“I always thought I needed things like being high with my n—-s, a Bugatti, a dope-ass crib or some big-booty bitches to be creative,” he writes. “But once it was taken away from me, my creativity was put to the ultimate test.”

That really does suck about Drake, though. Damn.

[Page Six]


I am North West,

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I have a huge floppy bow,

I bounce

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bounce

bounce

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bounce

to Daft Punk

at

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the wedding

Meanwhile, Kendall and Kylie Jenner are here hanging out with this alpaca yak donkey hooved dog chicken!

[Us Weekly]


  • In other Kylie news (is there any other kind?), she’s being sucked into Tyga’s money problems. [People]
  • Pippa Middleton can’t afford to hire Adele to sing at her wedding :( [Us Weekly]
  • Tegan and Sara got a new video for ya. [Just Jared]
  • It’s very unlikely that Brad Pitt will be prosecuted for allegedly committing assault against his son. Honestly though, the fact that I even had to type those words is garbage. DIAF 2016. [TMZ]
  • Cam Newton is expecting another baby. [The Shade Room]