I Will Not Smoke Chelsea Handler's Weed 

Weed is legal for recreational use in eight states across this great nation. Unfortunately, New York is not one of them; however, if it were, I would do everything in my power to avoid Chelsea Handler’s forthcoming celebrity weed strain.

Much like myself, Handler has turned to marijuana as a sweet salve in these trying times. In an Instagram story spotted by the wily eyes at Page Six, Handler said that weed is the “only f–king thing that’s kept me sane since Trump was elected.” Per the Instagram story, which I did not witness with my own eyes because I do not care for Chelsea Handler, she said that she was visiting a “weed farm” because she’s interested in starting her OWN weed line, okay?!

Many famous people who smoke weed have made their own weed lines: Snoop Dogg; Whiz Khalifa; Willie Nelson; Ghostface Killah; and, somehow, The Game. I’m not begrudging the idea of a famous person getting into legal weed, I’m just wondering how Chelsea Handler will brand her shit. I’m imagining just how embarrassing it would be to go to the dispensary and list out the other embarrassing strain names just to get to Uganda Be Kidding Me With This Dope Kush or Are You There Sour D, It’s Me Chelsea.

Chelsea Handler getting into the weed game will do what Bethenny Frankel did for margaritas, popcorn, and wine: transform something normal and cool into something joyless and sucky.