Martha Stewart offered a painstaking and terrifying and thrilling review of her beauty regimen for the New York Times's Skin Deep column. Every single thing about it was perfect, from the casual mention of daughter Alexis's undermining skills ("I was told years ago by my daughter, Alexis, that I shouldn't leave the house without makeup on.") to her in-flight misting rituals ("On a recent plane ride to L.A., I sprayed myself five times.")(IT'S HYDRATING. SO SHE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A PRUNE, YOU SEE.)

The whole thing is nuts, in the best possible way. (She spritzes herself with Fracas three times a day. Fracas, you guys.)

Advertisement

Now, we know that Martha has enough money to slather herself in whatever serums she'd like ("I slather myself with serums.") in whatever quantities she chooses. That is her right, and even the most hardened Martha denier would be compelled to admit that she looks pretty freaking great for a 72-year-old lady. But how much do all these serums and potions and Samantha lip glosses actually cost? To follow is a thorough accounting of every product Martha mentioned as being part of her beauty regimen.

SKIN CARE: $1212.99-$1291.99

Advertisement

Yon-Ka Gommage 305, $39.00

Advertisement

Susan Ciminelli Hydrating Gel Mask, $75.00

Collagen mask from Mario Badescu, $18.00

Chanel Correction Lift, $150.00

Yon-Ka Lotion, $41.00

Advertisement

the rose spray from Mario Badescu, $12.00

Susan Ciminelli Marine Lotion, $95.00

Advertisement

vitamin B*, $74.00 or SkinCeuticals C E Ferulic serum, $153.00

Clé de Peau moisturizer, $130.00

SkinCeuticals moisturizer, $60.00

Advertisement

Advertisement

Clé de Peau eye cream, $250.00

Caudalie eye cream, $98.00

SkinCeuticals Physical Fusion UV Defense (tinted and white versions), $34.00

Advertisement

AmorePacific cleansing oil, $50.00

Shu Uemura cleansing oil, $77.00

Advertisement

Johnson's baby oil, $9.99

Advertisement

*Wild guess. Who knows, she might just burst vitamin B caplets and rub them on her face.

MAKEUP: $455

AmorePacific tube called the Moisture Bound Tinted Moisturizer, $70.00

Advertisement

Clé de Peau Refining Fluid Foundation, $120.00

Advertisement

YSL Touche Éclat Radiant Touch stick, $40.00

Bobbi Brown bronzer, $38.00

Advertisement

Clinique High Impact mascara, $16.00

Givenchy mascara, $32.00

Latisse, approx. $120.00

Advertisement

Advertisement

Buxom lipgloss (Samantha color), $19.00

FRAGRANCE: $233

Fracas, $125.00

Advertisement

Jour d'Hermès, $108.00

HAIR: $82-$112

Advertisement

Frédéric Fekkai Ageless shampoo and conditioner, no longer listed on Fekkai's site; similar products retail for $20.00

Advertisement

Shu Uemura, the green line, $38.00-$68.00

Sally Hershberger's Texture Blast, no longer listed on Hershberger's site; similar products retail for $24.00


Grand Total: Between $1982.99 - $2091.99

Advertisement

Price information based on manufacturer's online product information, where available; where not available, prices gleaned from Amazon.com's or Nordstrom's stated list price.

Advertisement

Image via AP