Illustration by Sam Woolley.

Thus far, Jezebel’s Olympians have proven their competence in Bravo housewife naming, social engagement, and throwing balls into trashcans. On Friday, their interoffice manners, and recognition of good content, were on the line.

Competitors were notified that they would receive an email between the hours for 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. on Friday afternoon—their only task would be to respond quickest. At 1:36 p.m., I requested a good vine. Here are the responses I received, in the order I received them.

From Team Deadmodo’s Sophie Kleeman at 1:37 p.m.:

From Team Sex’s Clover Hope at 1:37 p.m.:

From Team Fashion’s Madeleine Davies at 1:37 p.m.:

From Team Gawker’s Ashley Feinberg at 1:37 p.m.:

From Team Celebrity’s Bobby Finger at 1:37 p.m.:

Team Fashion’s Kate Dries replied “first,” (she was not first) and then sent this at 1:37 p.m.:

From Team Deadmodo’s Matt Hardigree at 1:39 p.m.:

From Team Sex’s Ellie Shechet at 1:40 p.m.:

At 1:41 p.m., Team Celebrity’s Julianne Escobedo Shepherd emailed a Vine that I have deemed inappropriate. She replaced it with this:

From Team Celebrity’s Aimée Lutkin at 1:52 p.m.:


Gold medal: Sophie Kleeman, Team Deadmodo


Silver medal: Clover Hope, Team Sex

Bronze medal: Madeleine Davies, Team Fashion


Failed to place: Team Gawker, Team Celebrity

Current Standings:

Team Celebrity: 1 Silver medal, 1 Bronze medal

Team Sex: 2 Gold medals, 1 Silver medal


Team Fashion: 1 Silver medal, 3 Bronze medals

Team Deadmodo: 2 Gold medals, 1 Silver medal, 1 Bronze medal


Team Gawker: 1 Gold medal, 1 Silver medal, 1 Bronze medal