Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

Today in snooze news, NBC is reportedly about to offer Pippa Middleton — beautiful purebred collie and sister to Kate, Duchess of Cambridge — a correspondent gig on the Today Show. The gossip comes right before her big Matt Lauer interview where she will finally answer hot button Pippa Middleton questions like What's it like to look mildly entertained at Wimbledon? and Book deals: Those are fun, aren't they?

But the interview isn't enough for NBC. They're looking to get serious and settle down.

According to a Page Six source, "NBC, along with all the major networks, have been trying to sign Pippa for some time. NBC is set to make a fresh approach to her following the interview."

If the peacock network has their druthers, Pippa will join Today as a special correspondent who occasionally does reports based not on the Royal family (she's not allowed to discuss them), but "on her party planning book or her charity work."

NBC is clearly hoping that Middleton will be a big draw for the network, but the hope is misguided. The royal sister-in-law is boring. Some Jezebel assholes (meeeee) have even described her as "aggressively boring," which means she's bland in a way that you can't ignore — mostly because she and her publicity team are constantly trying to pass off her dull hobbies as something we all should be interested in.

It's not entirely Pippa's fault. "Aggressively boring" is exactly what Today peddles in, so going after Middleton is hardly a surprise coming from them. Still, there are other, cheaper options that would likely bring the same offensive inoffensiveness to the table.

Stuff like:

A nice looking egg salad sandwich

Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

(Image via Shutterstock.)

An Ann Taylor Loft store

Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

(Image via Getty.)

A beautiful collie

Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

(Image via Shutterstock.)

Andrea from administration

Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

(Image via Shutterstock.)

A Pinterest board with a bunch of braids on it

Who Should Get the Today Correspondent Gig if Pippa Says No?

(Image via Shutterstock.)

Or they can just go with Pippa! When NBC was last considering offering her a deal, they were allegedly ready to pony up a $600,000 to get her on board. No salary has been reported this time around, but no matter what they end up forking over, it seems like a safe investment (just ask the Telegraph).

Lede image via Getty.