Today, a study from the Ministry of Underestimation has found that one in ten women prefer their pet to their partner. (Other forthcoming studies: Cheese Is Pretty Ok; Some People Like Soccer a Little).
Nearly a third of women polled, however, say that they love their romantic partner and their furry companion the same amount. This means that roughly sixty percent of love interests in this situation are better at bringing joy into the life of women than extremely cute lil' kitties and puppies are. By what devilry is this accomplished? Do some people look extremely cute when they chase lazer pointers around a room?
The survey was commissioned by the Brooke animal charity, and 2,000 pet-owning/relationship-holding women were polled. In an attempt to explain why about 40 percent of women think that their partners are lesser than or equal to their pets, a spokeswoman for the charity says:
"Pets can't answer back with sarcastic comments or moan about the state of the house so it's easy to have a blissful relationship with a pet, which can't always been said of human relationships."
Pets can't cancel your anniversary dinner plans to see Third Eye Blind in concert with someone named Kenny whom they knew in fifth grade. Pets can't wantonly use the winky-face emoji when interacting with their ex-lovers online. Pets can't tell you that your extremely fashionable winter cape makes you look like an owl in a bed sheet.
As our new favorite real-talkin' animal charity spokeswoman puts it, "Women... expect less of their pets but are still rewarded with endless affection and loyalty." True enough: as I type this, I'm watching my pet eat its own poop and thinking, "How sweet."
"One in ten women love their pet more than their partner" [Telegraph]
Image via Luna Vandoorme/Shutterstock.