Do you have a big booty? If so, you should put it in a small swimsuit, then drench it in water and possibly oil while you shake it around and take much pride in what God (or other avenues) gave you. At least, that's what I've learned from Jennifer Lopez and Iggy Azalea's new video for "Booty" their much-publicized duet.

This clip hit the web mere days after Vogue tried to understand the history and "recent trend" of the booty, crediting white people for its popularity and mentioning Jennifer Lopez. Elsewhere some New York Times editor — who has a black boss in Dean Baquet, not that he was consulted but come on, guys! — must've said to a writer "We just need to get something up on this booty craze, anything will do."

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That said, Lopez, whose booty was born and bred naturally in the Bronx, New York, shakes her thang around like I hope to at 45. 45! Where is this virgin's blood that she, Christie Brinkley, Pharrell Williams, Jada Pinkett-Smith and Sade are drinking? Stop holding out!