Here is a video that finally gives you what you've wanted all along this Oscar season—the chance to see a little boy pull off the epic Matthew McConaughey chest thumping lunch table scene in The Wolf of Wall Street.

From Cinefix, this video wavers between totally adorable and kind of disturbing ("I'm a pirate!), which is probably why it's the greatest. It's also a great opportunity to see just how versatile Christian Bale's look in American Hustle is. Be honest; how many of you now are reconsidering your reproductive plans, just so you can have a child to dress in 70's suits and big hair?

Stay for the end; the end is the best.