Oh my goodness. Everyone, please sit down. In news that is sure to basically destroy everything we thought we knew about the beautiful unicorn soul angel that is Mitt Romney, word comes today that—brace yourselves—he made fat jokes.

*SOUND OF WORLD AND EVERYTHING I HELD NEAR AND DEAR IMPLODING ON ITSELF*

SHOCKER: Mitt Romney Made Fun of 'Chunky' People

According to Double Down: Game Change 2012, a new book about the presidential campaign, Romney liked to tease people about their weight.

Mitt also cared about fitness and was prone to poke fun at those who didn’t. (“Oh, there’s your date for tonight,” he would say to male members of his traveling crew when they spied a chunky lady on the street.)

Welp. I can't believe this is the same man I absolutely never would have voted for in 2012. According to the book, a big part of the reason Romney eventually nixed Chris Christie as a potential running mate was a concern over the New Jersey governor's 'health and 'lack of physical fitness.' Uh-huh. From Double Down:

Romney marveled at Christie’s girth, his difficulties in making his way down the narrow aisle of the campaign bus. Watching a video of Christie without his suit jacket on, Romney cackled to his aides, “Guys! Look at that!”

*Wipes single tear away, rips poster of Mitt Romney off wall, slowly stuffs into trash can*

Double Down: Game Change 2012 is available on Amazon. My shattered faith in humanity is not.

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