Jezebel: Hugo Chavez

Hugo Chavez Subtly Suggests That The U.S. Government Is Shooting World Leaders Full Of Cancer

Cassie Murdoch — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:45:00 EST

After Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner, the president of Argentina, was recently diagnosed with thyroid cancer, Hugo Chavez, Venezuela's disturbingly kooky president, has begun insinuating that perhaps the United States is running around secretly infecting his region's leaders with the disease. His proof? Five Latin American presidents have recently suffered from cancer, a number which includes Mr. Chavez himself. He claims he's been cured of his disease, though he never disclosed what kind of cancer he had. (Probably the secret American kind!) Here's what Chavez said in a speech to the military on national TV: More »

Wife, Mistress Fight Over Dead President

Anna North — Thu, 26 May 2011 14:05:00 EDT

The former president of Venezuela has been dead six months, and his wife and mistress are still fighting over where to bury him. An added complicating factor: Hugo Chavez. More »

Hugo Chavez's War On Breast Implants

Anna North — Tue, 15 Mar 2011 09:45:00 EDT

Breast augmentation is big in Venezuela. But President Hugo Chávez disapproves, saying the practice isn't revolutionary. And why do you care, Mr. President? More »

GQ Reporter Naomi Campbell Asks Vladimir Putin The Tough Questions

Jenna Sauers — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 16:40:00 EST

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Today in media stunts: Naomi Campbell interviews Vladimir Putin for British GQ. Her opening gambit? "You're in pretty good physical shape. How do you manage to keep yourself so fit?" It gets worse (better?) from there. More »

Heigl Leaves Grey's; Jen "Loves" Gerard

Dodai Stewart — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:00:00 EST

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After six years on Grey's Anatomy, Katherine Heigl is jumping ship.

War On Twerror

Anna North — Thu, 04 Feb 2010 13:40:00 EST

Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez has apparently declared critical Twitter updates a form of terrorist threat. Watch out, Ashton! [BoingBoing] More »

Sound & Gagged

Anna Holmes — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 13:10:00 EDT

[Tegucigalpa, Honduras; June 25. Image via Getty]

Meghan Thinks The GOP Is Scared; Pat Thinks You're Gay

Megan Carpentier — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 10:00:00 EDT

Meghan McCain thinks older Republicans are scared shitless at the thought of changing their position on same-sex marriage. She doesn't realize that it's because their boyfriends might start demanding it. [Huffington Post]

Lindsay Lohan Off Her Rocker About Being Off The Cover

Dodai Stewart — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 09:00:00 EST

Lindsay Lohan is reportedly pissed that Katie Holmes is on Glamour's April cover; LL was under the impression that her Madonna shot would get the cover. Insiders say that was never gonna happen. [MSNBC Scoop]

Jennifer Aniston Cops To Photoshop

Jessica G. — Fri, 26 Dec 2008 09:00:00 EST

Jennifer Aniston admits two things about that naughty nude GQ cover: that she was drunk when they snapped the pics and that they photoshopped her already perfect funbags. [NYDN]

The Strange Case Of The State Of Hilary Duff's Hymen

Jessica G. — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:00:00 EST

Hilary Duff told Elle she was a virgin back in 2006. The now 21-year-old actress is claiming she never said such a thing. More »

Once We've Warred With Iran, Russia And Spain, Who Will McCain-Palin Attack Next?

Megan Carpentier — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Attacks from the McCain-Palin campaign aren't just for Barack Obama, Joe Biden and the nation of Russia anymore! The Repubs have moved onto bashing Hillary Clinton and, um, Spain. Luckily, Jason Linkins and I don't move on as well as the GOP, so we talk more about Lady Lynn Forester de Rothschild and her many, many friends of African-American heritage, Grenada, sangria, Palin and Ahmadenijad's love-that-dare-not-speak-it's-name, blow jobs, rapes, unwanted babies and very, very unwanted baby names. More »

Venezuela's Domestic Violence Levels Almost As Bad As Russia's

Jessica G. — Mon, 21 Jul 2008 15:00:00 EDT

Remember last week's story about Russia's alarming level of domestic abuse? Well Venezuela's situation is not much better, despite a promise from President Hugo Chavez in March, 2007 to ameliorate the incidence of such crimes. A woman dies from domestic violence once an hour in Russia, while every 15 minutes in Venezuela, a woman is attacked. According to a report released last week by Amnesty International, the March 2007 law "defines violence against women as a human rights violation and reaffirms the responsibility of the state and its officials to eradicate it," which one ups Russia, where violence against women is still not a crime. However, Chavez vowed to open more women's shelters, and has not made good on his promise. There are currently only 2 operating shelters in the entirety of Venezuela, a country of approximately 27 million. More »

A League's Fixed Game, A Nation's Lost Innocence

Moe — Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:30:00 EDT

Okay, I realize I'm taking a wild gamble here, but this is Mike Bibby. Of all the dreamboats on the 2002 Sacramento Kings he was the dreamiest, although I'll always carry a torch for Vlade Divac and Bobby Jackson also rules... anyway, so. Everyone hearts the Sacramento Kings this year. Moreover, everyone hates the Lakers. (Except Lakers fans, but they don't count.) And the Kings are winning the Western Conference Finals, which in those days de facto meant winning the championship, but the refs keep fucking things up, launching new waves of conspiracy theorizing among anyone who actually still watched professional basketball. Anyway, and then Game 6 happened, and Mike Bibby got a huge bloody nose from Kobe Bryant, and the refs called a foul...on Bibby...and yeah, well if that wasn't just a harbinger of things to come! (That and the 2000 election, but you know.) Ralph Nader called for an official investigation. I drowned my sorrows in 2 a.m. World Cup beers. And today, a few thousand days and a few hundred million dollars short for the NBA, it turns out Game 6 was, indeed, probably fixed, so you can dedicate tonight's beer to David Stern. Him and George "Man of Peace" Bush, Hugo "Black Power" Chavez, Abu Dhabi and the really dumb thing EMILY's List stands for with me and Megan after the jump. More »

Bigger Than Burning Man.

Moe — Mon, 19 May 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Seventy five thousand people showed up to see Obama's biggest yet speech in Portland, Oregon yesterday. Firstly, that represents something like one-seventh the entire population of Portland and undoubtedly the biggest-ever congregation of fixed-gear bicycles. In fact, the crowd was bigger than pretty much any outdoor rock concert including Burning Man (though not including the Stones at Altamont Speedway) and it was in a city, a city we can only imagine smells kind of awful right now, if only because the coffee in Portland lends itself to really foul shits. Anyway, a friend of mine used to call Portland "White People Gone Wild." It is not such a terrible shock this crowd digs Obama. So as this woeful chapter in our nation's history concludes I can only hope the WPGW contingent will stop saying ludicrous things like the election of John McCain would be "eight more years" of Bush. To say such a thing cheapens the trauma of the World's Worst Presidency and further tries our almost thoroughly bankrupt national capacity for nuance, a capacity Obama is trying to restore. That and lots more with Megan and I, after the jump. More »

Your Jewish Mom Is Going To Have A Crush On Obama

Moe — Tue, 13 May 2008 10:00:00 EDT

Life, an esteemed Glamocracy editor said to me today, "is a suicidal act. It is just a more masochistic suicide than average." What differentiates us, then, is nothing but the barely visible variations of degree to which we flatter ourselves into thinking we are the navigators of that masochism, when really our parents are the only ones who can do that. So! Barack Obama's mom was smart enough to follow spent the summer after their years in Muslimstan with a stint a Jew-y summer camp! Barry read Philip Roth and the Talmud and learned to love Israel in theory. (The "in rationalist political expediency" love came later.) Oh yeah, and tonight Hillary Clinton is about to win a pointless landslide in West Virginia. And the rest of the world...well, it's trapped under the rubble of thirty seismic jolts or newly released from the Kafkaesque numerical metaphor that is the state of being a 20th hijacker, but whatevs. We tell ourselves stories in order to assist our own suicides as they say after the jump! More »

Hillary Clinton Never Should Have Granted That Interview To US Weekly, Camille Paglia Tells US Weekly

Moe — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 19:30:33 EST

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On the eve before the Texas/Ohio primaries that could end the Hillary Clinton candidacy, Camille Paglia decided to give an exclusive interview to...US Weekly. In which: she praises Barack Obama for his superior kung fu skills and rails against Hillary for hiring a team "so self-infatuated with their own clever superiority, that in fact they're quite transparent," and also choosing to appear in US Weekly. [US Weekly]

Loose Lips

Jessica G. — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 11:45:00 EST

Gwyneth Paltrow was admitted to Mount Sinai Hospital in NYC yesterday for undisclosed reasons. Later that evening, she got a delivery from an organic home supply store. I know I can't get better without my pesticide-free hemp throw pillow, either. • Slut Machine wasn't the only one having fun in Vegas! Corey Feldman was also at the AVN Awards enjoying himself. • OMG, are Naomi Campbell and her GQ interview subject President Hugo Chavez dating?? South American reporters are saying yes, Naomi's rep is saying no. [Us,A Socialite's Life, Dlisted] More »

Naomi Campbell Asks Hugo Chavez, "Would You Go Topless Like Putin?"

Moe — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 18:30:35 EST

The Naomi Campbell interview with Hugo Chavez for British GQ is out soon, and oh god, the suspense is killing us. Luckily we have details: Campbell explains she "didn't want to judge Chávez, or probe him for his political views, even though he gave them freely. I simply went to interview Hugo Chávez the man." So she asks all sorts of illuminating questions such as whether Chavez the man would "go topless like Vladimir Putin," and Chavez the man presses her hands to his pecs and says "why not?" He goes on to call Condoleezza Rice an agent of "genocide", Camilla Parker Bowles ugly, Fidel Catro "the most stylish" world leader. In turn she calls him a "rebel angel" — hey, isn't there one of those in the Bible? — and says he "poses no threat to democracy," finally quoting him as saying: More »

Watch Out Christiane Amanpour: Here Comes Naomi Campbell

Jennifer — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 11:30:00 EST

So that's what Naomi Campbell was doing in Venezuela: interviewing Hugo Chavez for British GQ. Now they're sending her to talk to Fidel Castro. Is this a fucking joke? And if not, does she realize the whole Latin American socialist alliance thing is like, kinda last season? [Vogue UK]

Roberto Cavalli Dresses J.Lo's Expanding Bump

Jennifer — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 10:30:24 EDT

Designer Roberto Cavalli has never been known for subtlety. On working with celebrity clientele: "Well Jennifer Lopez, at this moment, she requests something very special because she is waiting for the baby. It is so complicated because every week she is getting bigger." Ha ha, and Lopez still hasn't confirmed her pregnancy. [People.com]