During their ongoing visit to Australia, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge (a.k.a Prince William and Kate Middleton) stopped by the youth community centre in Adelaide to mingle with the normals and find out what the Aussie teens are into these days.
The Duke and Duchess then participated in youthful activities like spray painting (RAD!), scratching records (DOPE!) and holding skateboards in their hands (BINGO ZINGO!). They were good sports about the whole thing (look how excited they get on the turntables!), but that doesn't mean that it necessarily came easily or naturally for them (not a lot of shredding at Eton, apparently), which is a good reminder that, while William and Kate seem like perfectly pleasant people, the royals are still pretty inescapably uncool. Think about it — Prince Harry had to dress like a Nazi to be considered edgy. That's basically the definition of try-hard.
Anyway, to celebrate some of the more adorably awkward photographs to come out of the youth centre event, we've decided to caption them with entirely made up (though probably true) stories. Rule, Britannia!
"William, it's music. The machines play music," Kate explained, gesturing to the turntables. Their subjects waited patiently.
"I don't understand," the prince replied, reaching a tentative hand out towards the spinning record before pulling back and locking all of his fingers together — almost like he was trying to keep himself from touching anything else.
"Music?" he continued suspiciously. "No, I do think you're mistaken."
"It's just like the music you hear at home, dear. Only instead of being sung by the jester, it come out of speakers. Speeeee-kers," his wife repeated slowly. "It's how the commoners have been listening to music for decades.
"Blimey," William said in awe. "It's amazing what these peasants come up with, isn't it?"
"Look, Cathy! I'm doing it!"
As he scratched the record back and forth, the smiles of everyone in the room grew.
"Yes," they all cheered. "You're the best DJ in the world."
They liked to see the prince happy.
"I've drawn my share of penis doodles, certainly, but never on a wall," the Duke of Cambridge said incredulously. "But like my grandmother says, there's a first time for everything. Pip pip!"
William took the skateboard that the man had presented him with and ran his fingers along the deck, wheels and bearings.
"Gilded cage," he whispered involuntarily. It was so quiet that Kate probably wouldn't have heard it had she not been standing so close.
"What was that?"
"Oh, nothing," Wills replied in a choked little way. He looked up at her and tried to smile even though his eyes were gleaming with tears. "I was never allowed to skateboard as a boy is all. Too dangerous, they said..."
He swallowed hard and shook his head.
"No bother, darling." He was back to using what Kate called his 'king voice,' the cold and capable voice he used when they were in public. "Shall we go on?"
"Yes, we shall."
Her heart broke for him.
Images via Getty.