How A Palin Wedding Boycott Can Help Brevi Achieve True Stardom

One anonymous TV exec told Page Six that Brevi is too boring to get their own reality TV show. So maybe the two “family friends” telling PopEater that Sarah Palin is boycotting their August wedding is just trying to help!

Would you believe that Sarah Palin isn’t taking our advice? Back when the engagement was announced, Anna North suggested to Palin, “Don’t fuck this up. Don’t snipe at Levi or offer some kind of half-hearted, I-hope-he-makes-her-happy type acceptance. Act surprised, open your arms, and laugh all the way to the ballot box.”

Not so much, at least according to Rob Shuter’s sources. Todd will walk Bristol down the aisle, but Sarah is refusing to come, apparently being too busy crafting her next neologism-driven rant.

“It’s going to be the wedding of the century in Alaska. Our version of Princess Diana and Prince Charles’ wedding,’ a Palin family friend told me with a straight face. “Everyone would kill to get an invite even if it means having to buy them an expensive gift. It’s just too bad that her mother has refused to attend. Although I can’t say I blame her after everything that boy has put her through.”

God, I can’t believe that Palin family friend could get through that without a smirk — guess that’s what we have East Coast elite gossip sites for. The wedding is so unimportant and declasse that we are going to keep writing about it every freaking day!

The real difference between Britain’s royal family and Alaska’s is that reality would have been all over the Windsors. Now they have to deal with a true shame, as Hadley Freeman notes in The Guardian:

If Sarah was wary about her daughter’s marriage being made into a TV programme, then surely her being turned down for one is even worse, considering so much of her political image has been based on personality and family. Only now it turns out that a member of her family doesn’t even have enough personality for a country that has a TV programme called I Didn’t Even Know I Was Pregnant (which, for the record, Bristol didn’t appear on either).

Though it’s possible Sarah’s just slow to forgive Levi for his post-breakup antics, let’s run with this Palin-as-media-genius thing (which has yet to be substantively disproved, at least by her own apparent terms of the game — fame and fortune). Here’s a pitch for the pilot of the show. It opens at Bristol and Levi’s wedding — all Candies’ shoes and red state-style redemption. But will Mama Grizzly show up? Can true love melt Sarahcuda’s heart? You’ll just have to watch and see!

Genius.

Bristol Palin: The One Person Too Boring For Reality TV [Guardian]
Sarah Palin Boycotting Bristol And Levi Johnson’s Wedding [Popeater]
TV Execs Underwhelmed By Bristol And Levi Reality Show Idea [NYP]

Earlier: Levi’s Really Planning To Marry Palin Inc.
Bristol And Levi’s Engagement Is Sarah’s Weirdly Brilliant PR Ploy