Hot Tip: Having Someone Trailed Is Not the Best Way to Begin a Relationship
LatestAccording to the New York Times, one fallout of the Ashley Madison leak is that some online daters are now hiring private investigators to look into the marital status of their online prospects. That’s bleak, guys.
Abby Ellin writes:
Clearly, a certain wariness (if not weariness) has set in. But rather than holing up at home playing Words with Friends, concerned daters have taken to researching their suitors beyond the requisite trolling of Google and Facebook.
Some are turning to specialized search tools, like Spokeo, an online verification service. Others are using private investigators and matchmakers to do the vetting for them.
According to the Times, Spokeo claims requests for background searches have more than doubled since August. Carly Robyn Green, a Los Angeles songwriter, explained, “There are so many more people leading double lives than I could have fathomed,” and as a result, she’s dating with more “awareness and vigilance.”
Age, weight, height, employment, income—the Times notes that the proliferation of dating apps has allowed daters to fudge these numbers, and the knowledge that tons of married dudes were looking for a side thing has made marital status a primary worry.
Dating technology has not quite caught up. The fact that apps like Hinge and JSwipe hide surnames until you match with someone, or show you mutual friends but don’t let you contact them, is also a problem for the deeply suspicious, Green told the Times. Nor do most of these services bar married people from entrance, leaving you to sort that out on your own dime.
As a result, they found upticks in businesses that vet suitors more thoroughly for matchmaking, or offer real-world or online investigation services to bust the less forthcoming. But if you didn’t want to pay, say, $25k to join a fancy matchmaking service, or even $67 an hour to hire a PI, you could use an app highlighted in the article, Dating Lounge, which offers greater transparency in dating by showing full real names, giving access to a user’s friend network, and blocking anyone who is married or in a serious relationship. Too bad there’s a waiting list!