Hornball Carson Daly Wants to Know If Pippa Middleton Has a Boyfriend

The Today Show finally aired the first part of their much hyped Pippa Middleton interview, revealing some very exciting, need-to-know facts about Kate Middleton’s younger sister, like how she’s self-described as “normal,” how she thought the royal wedding was going to be “normal” and how her relationship with Kate remains “normal.” But according to dork squire Carson Daly, King Dork Matt Lauer was asking all the wrong questions. Carson wants to know if Pippa has a boooooooooyfriend.

The interview — as Matt Lauer complained out loud to his guest — took place in London and covered all sorts of ~~Hot~~ Lukewarm Button Pippa Issues.

They touched on her recent trip to the U.S.:

“I think, actually, I’ve got to see some parts of America that probably most Americans haven’t got to see.”

Prince George:

“He’s amazing. He’s a very dear boy and he’s brought a lot of pleasure and fun for all of us, the whole family.”

Thank GOD Lauer found out whether or not Pippa Middleton loves children and babies and if she would be happy to have one:

“I love children and babies. So I would happily have one.”

The royal wedding:

“It sounds funny to say, but we saw it as just a family wedding. And actually, I didn’t realize, perhaps, the scale of it until afterwards. We all took on the roles as any family would.”

Eventually, the conversation turned to the attention Pippa Middleton began to get following her sister’s marriage to the Duke of Cambridge. And because we live in a world where we can’t have nice things, Lauer had to go talkin’ about her butt:

Lauer: After that moment people started talking about you and — for lack of a better way to explain it — the way your dress fit. How did you feel about that?

Middleton: It was completely unexpected. The plan was not really for it to be a significant dress — really to just sort of blend in with the train. I suppose it’s flattering?

Lauer: A little embarrassing?

Middleton: Embarrassing, definitely. Because I suppose — it wasn’t planned.

What a scoop! Professional journalist Matt Lauer, in his exclusive interview with buns-haver Pippa Middleton, has just confirmed that professional journalist Matt Lauer is indeed the worst.

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Unfortunately, man-colored smear Carson Daly — back in the U.S. — wasn’t content with just a little bit of ass discussion.

“I was wondering if she has a boy—” he began, then — perhaps remembering that he’s in a serious relationship with the mother of his two kids — corrected: “I’m sure there are guys wondering if she has a boyfriend.”

SWEET SAVE, DALY. Unfortunately, you are the one man in the world who is too boring for her. And I say that as the person who once compared her to an egg salad sandwich.