Today is a good day: The trailer for the new season of the Real Housewives of New York has arrived and, if nothing else, it will make you feel incredibly sane compared to these women.

There is so much going on in this two-minutes-and-40-seconds of yelling and alcohol consumption that I just kept a running list of my reactions:

  • Ramona’s got new titties!
  • There’s an Asian housewife, Jules! Diversity!
  • Jules says she likes to be “very Asian and subservient.” :(
  • Bethenny’s haircut is finally growing on me!
  • Sonja still drinks too much!
  • Kristen is gone! Good!
  • LuAnn really got engaged to that guy who dated her friends!
  • Dorinda is still dating John!
  • John is still really terrible!
  • Bethenny’s apartment is finally done!
  • Does Dorinda even like John?
  • Menopause jokes!
  • LuAnn was made for this!
  • Carole is still with her young boo thang!
  • Sonja has another great deliverance of Dorinda’s name!
  • Dorinda sort of seems like a terrible person?
  • Sonja gets some sort of procedure on her vagina!
  • How is Carole going to survive without Heather?

Damn, I can already tell that the ladies earned their checks this season. Julianne “Jules” Wainstein replaces Heather Thompson and she seems great (for reality television). A Bravo press release describes her as a “Hong Kong-born beauty” who is tasked with bringing “a youthful and dynamic point of view.”

The eighth season of the Real Housewives of New York premieres on April 6.


Contact the author at kara.brown@jezebel.com .

Screenshot via Bravo.