• After taking down Victoria's Secret, Abercrombie & Fitch, Hollister, and Elle magazine, the dreaded bedbugs are now ensconced at the Fifth Avenue Juicy Couture store. We're picturing bedbugs in tiny velour tracksuits, talking on tiny pink bedazzled cell phones. [Gothamist]

• Miranda Kerr was photographed nude at six and a half months pregnant by Patrick Demarchelier. She told W magazine she realized she was knocked up the day she shot her Jil Sander campaign. Full pic below. [Fashionologie]

• Halle is the first black woman to make the cover of Vogue's September issue since 1989. "What that means for a woman of color and what that means in the fashion world, what that means to pop culture," she says:

• If you are a celebrity looking to distill your smelly essence into a trademarked blend of volatile organic compounds and sell it for a disgusting profit, be like Mary J. Blige. In six hours, Blige moved 60,000 units. [People]

• Zoe Saldana is the latest face of Calvin Klein. The actress' only other foray into fashion was a clothing line by the name of Arasmaci. Perhaps she didn't want any other ads to come between her and her Calvins? [People]

• Jessica Alba was so impressed by the 40-foot-tall lion at the Chanel show that she kept taking pictures of it. Anna Mouglalis said, "I feel like I'm inAlice in Wonderland!" Meanwhile, Beirut is "where it's all happening right now." [WWD]

• Elle MacPherson eats powdered rhino horn as a dietary supplement, because, "It works for me." Except: rhinos are endangered, and the only way to get rhino horn is to cut one off a rhino and leave it to die. [TOL]

• The Special Court for Sierra Leone ruled that prosecutors can subpoena Naomi Campbell to compel her to testify about blood diamonds witnesses report she received from warlord Charles Taylor in 1997. Campbell had rebuffed prosecutors' attempts to interview her. [AP]

• Adriana Lima, husband Marko Jaric, and baby daughter Valentina posed for Hola! brazil. The Victoria's Secret model discussed her pregnancy, which was plagued with complications including preeclampsia. Valentina was born prematurely. [HuffPo]

• Cathy Horyn's lengthy piece in the Times reveals some new information about the circumstances of Alexander McQueen's death. For one, his suicide was highly unexpected:

• Kim Kardashian isn't just coming to the tents to show her Bebe line — she'll join Felicity Huffman and Estelle, among other celebrities, in a fashion show to raise awareness of heart disease. [WWD]

• This rather banal anecdote about Michael Kors being mistaken for Marc Jacobs is enlivened by an adorable photo of the two from when Jacobs was pale and long-haired and still had those clear-framed glasses that are so totally hot. [FWD]

• Jennifer Lopez is getting out of the U.S. clothing business, closing her brand, Sweetface. In 2007, Lopez shuttered JLO, replacing it with Justsweet — which then closed after two seasons. It's tough out there for a wannabe fashion mogul. [WWD]

• Rachel Zoe and Nicole Ritchie hugged while cameras for Zoe's reality show rolled. Presumably they made up based on their shared love of airtime and handbags the size and price of compact cars. [WWD]

• Kirsten Dunst looks almost as evil in these Miu Miu ads as we somehow believe she actually is. [Sassybella]

• Holy Aryan Smut Closet Case Pride, the A&F Quarterly is back and under the same old management? Have you ever looked at this catalog? Click to see enlarged Heidi Klum!
  
• ...anyway, I'm not sure it was possible to actually purchase clothes with it, because there didn't even seem to be any clothes displayed in it. (Also missing: Black people.) But there were a lot of naked tits and weird date-rapey advice columns and stuff until CEO Mike Jeffries decided he was "bored" with the stale pornyness of it all. Big mistake! Look at American Apparel! [Fashion Week Daily]
  
• Hannah Montana is an icon of neo biker chic style. [NY Times]
  
• To attract men — and one assumes, Jezebel editors! — beauty salons are offering free Sam Adams, gin and scotch and pool tables. [WSJ]
  
• Blind item guessing game, Arden WOHLcat edition. "Which socialite and vague designer was so high on ecstasy on New Year's Eve that she fell out of her cab on her way to a tiny, exclusive, and smoke filled tavern in the West Village? She might not have even remembered the next day, if it weren't for the massive bruise on her..." [Fashionista]

It's Fashion Week, and we know how much that means to you all, but we thought we'd throw a bone to Jezebel readers who'd trade their newfound understanding of Vena Cava for a decent glass of vino. This is the story of Hollister, a powerful branch of the Abercrombie & Fitch youth retail empire and the sort of work environment and probably middle America's closest approximation to working in fashion. All through the country, thanks to retailers like Hollister, average heartland American teenagers are trading wages for status, obsessively attuning themselves to tiny aesthetic tics, throwing themselves into the insecurity-superiority spirals and learning to hate bread. And the tiny crop of straight dudes smart enough to plant themselves in the middle of it is getting unjustly and prodigiously laid. Meet The Douche. His name might have been Scott. Reader Christine has blocked it out. He was her first retail boss, and he was verrrry good at preparing his charges to meet Joe Francis. Welcome back to "I Work Retail," the Jezebel column about the only industry more depressing than women's magazines.