http://cache.jezebel.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jezebel.com.png http://jezebel.com/tag/holiday http://jezebel.com/tag/holiday

Here's a tale that will make you think maybe home schooling wouldn't be so terrible after all: A fifth-grade teacher in Queens, New York is in trouble for having her students write holiday cards to her boyfriend—who happens to be in prison and has a record of being into kiddie porn. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5885878&view=rss&microfeed=true

WELCOME TO 2012! Oops, sorry, we'll keep things quiet since your brain is probably in a delicate condition right now. Let's talk in a whisper. But seriously, how was your New Year's Eve? Where would you rank it on a scale of one (You died alone of consumption at 11:59 p.m. Your cat started gnawing on your cold, dead toes by 12:02 a.m.) to ten ("Oh my God, wait how did I end up doing a body swap with Oprah? And why is Jon Hamm licking my arm...")? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5872298&view=rss&microfeed=true

Usually you hear about how dangerous drunk driving is, but it turns out riding the train drunk can also be hazardous to your health. Check out this crazy video of a heavily intoxicated woman in England who steps off a train, falls, and then somehow manages to roll underneath the train. The footage was released by British police in an effort to remind travelers not to get too drunk while celebrating this holiday season. Luckily the woman is okay — just cuts and bruises — because some alert person spotted her go down and prevented her from getting flattened. Here's your new mantra for holiday parties: Friends don't let friends drink and ride the rails. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5870573&view=rss&microfeed=true

More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5869179&view=rss&microfeed=true

When the crew of the Royal Navy's HMS Ocean deployed earlier this year, they expected to be out to sea for seven weeks. But their boat was diverted to Libya and at this point, the ship has been away for for seven months. During this time, graduations and birthdays were missed, fifteen men became fathers and five had to leave the boat to get married. But recently came good news — the crew would be home for Christmas! An obvious cause for celebration, the entire ship took part in a lip dub of "All I Want For Christmas Is You" — which I'm happy to note is not the Bieber edition — and has since been approved by Mariah Carey herself. If this doesn't make you a little weepy, are you at least feeling the holiday spirit? No? God, you're heartless bitches. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5865458&view=rss&microfeed=true

More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5864938&view=rss&microfeed=true

Here's an early holiday treat, ladies: Michael Bublé and Ed Helms, rocking holiday sweaters, singing a little holiday song — until the someone's sweater catches fire, forcing him to continue shirtless. What a shame. By the end of the clip, when I realized what I had just watched was a commercial for A Michael Bublé Christmas, I was confused: Is this televised special going to be a showcase for Bublé's comedy stylings? Will there be funny sketches in the same vein as Hamm & Bublé? Or is it going to be a full hour of "Haven't Met You Yet" and "Luck Be A Lady"? If they're promising celebrity cameos, it seems worth tuning in… It can't be any worse than the Very Gilly Christmas special NBC aired last year, right? More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5864304&view=rss&microfeed=true

That's what she told Ryan Secrest while enjoying the New Year's festivities in Times Square, where she also performed in a sparkletop for merry revelers, mounted a man dressed as Santa Claus (?) and made the year her "bitch." More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5722297&view=rss&microfeed=true

• Rihanna had dinner with Topshop founder Philip Green and Simon Cowell. Because Green and Cowell run an entertainment company that produces television and fashion ventures, the tabloid seers are pretty sure that means Rihanna's getting a clothing line. [Daily Mail]

More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5720487&view=rss&microfeed=true

"Oh Santa!", the first single from Mariah Carey's second holiday album Merry Christmas II You premiered today on Popeater.com. We may not feel this way after hearing it 8,000 times in the next few months, but it's pretty catchy! More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5653212&view=rss&microfeed=true

When I was kid, my parents would always tell me in the days leading up to Christmas that Santa Claus was already circling the globe. Now that I'm an adult with internet access, I can confirm that this is true. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5430804&view=rss&microfeed=true

Good news, Nog lovers: a high alcohol content in a batch of egg nog might be enough to kill any strains of salmonella. So you can have your raw eggs and drunken shenanigans, too![NPR] More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5114888&view=rss&microfeed=true

I love Christmas. I love Christmas cookies, Christmas trees, Christmas presents, and Christmas specials. But Christmas carols have got to be stopped. Every year, there are more of them. And every year, they get worse. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5114839&view=rss&microfeed=true

Last night on Late Night With Conan O'Brien, Stephen Colbert demonstrated his ability to alter reality via Wikipedia, revealing a nasty incident in Conan's Wikipedia past involving a canoe paddle. Then Conan complained that he wasn't asked to be on A Colbert Christmas and an impromptu Christmas special broke out, complete with fake snow, a duet, and a Rockettes-style kickline. Clip above. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5105606&view=rss&microfeed=true

The Onion is selling gift boxes featuring fake products that will definitely make watching dad open that package of sock you got him more exciting. Who wouldn't want the iFeast, a portable MP3 docking station/pet feeding system or a smoke alarm that wakes you slowly to the gentle sounds of the rain forest? Fortunately, these products don't actually exist, but you can buy the empty boxes at the Onion Store. [Via Random Good Stuff] More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5102399&view=rss&microfeed=true

This month's issue of Glamour is all about holiday parties, and it's bound to make you wonder what kind of party guest Glamour editors would make. While we have nothing against cash-strapped guests showing up in cocktail dresses from Old Navy, a $20 ball of 100 hair elastics does not a hostess gift make. Since the editors are even budgeting food intake with a 2 page breakdown of the nutritional value of holiday foods, it seems they'd spend the entire party near the hors d'oeuvres, trying to calculate caloric content of a pigs 'n blanket vs. champagne punch. (Judging from the photo on page 198 of a woman bent over Santa's knee getting spanked, they'd go with the punch.) Did Condé Nast dodge a bullet by canceling its holiday party? Find out after the jump. More »
]]> http://jezebel.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=5098536&view=rss&microfeed=true