A friend of mine characterized the 2016 presidential primaries as “the worst pad thai i’ve ever had it’s too lime-y”; this exacting sentiment has been my entire opinion about this debate saturated circus. But the one thing—the one single thing— that has kept me going over the past few months is the fact that, worst case scenario, the woman who made U.S. history by being the first to win a presidential primary in 2008 would be able to make state history in one she didn’t seize eight years ago. And: check.

Clinton took the state with a 63 percent lead, with her chief rival, GOP hopeful Donald Trump, leading by 37 percent—though so far there is no definite projected Republican winner. She’s also projected to win the Southern bloc, including South Carolina, having won Alabama, Massachusetts, Tennessee, Georgia, Arkansas on top of Virginia, according to recent results reported by Al Jazeera.

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Speaking of Trump, who in accordance with the holy word of John Oliver I will now call #Drumpf, being the end-all be-all manifestation of the phrase “this is why we can’t have nice things,” has been declared winner in Alabama, Georgia, Tennessee, and Virginia, making the Man Who Would Be President Garfield the Cat a fierce front runner for the night.

Unsurprisingly, Feel the Bernie Sanders is projected to win Vermont.

Image via Getty.


Contact the author at jamie.reich@jezebel.com.