Hey, Wanna Look Even Dumber? Wear This Fake Baby That's Also a Flask

Though my only evidence is the neck ache I come down with on Sundays after the weekend spent presumably whipping my hair back and forth, I am positive that I look like an idiot when I’m drinking. But, if there’s anything I know for certain in this crazy life of ours, there’s always room to look dumber—and this, I assume, is is the sole reasoning behind “The Cool Baby,” a fake infant whose head you can drink out of.

Made out of foam rubber, the Cool Baby will both insulate your drink and ensure that you horrify everyone around you. You can swivel its head around in its body. The mouthpiece is hidden in the ice-blue cap.

Brokelyn interviewed Cool Baby creator Simon Phillion, who is trying to raise $70,000 on Kickstarter within the next nine days ($6,153 down; a whole world to go). Phillion said that the Cool Baby is an avenue to “hack into baby culture… you can walk into the packs of people with strollers and the babies” and blend in with them. Hell yes, there’s no better way to fit in with all your new parent friends than to bring your own fake baby and then chug a caipirinha out of the top of its head. Phillion adds that the Cool Baby is a cool, hands-free way to “drink and not get caught,” and he’s right! I’m sure the fake baby won’t draw any attention, and anyway American Sniper taught us that fake babes are fly. Drinking out of its head is totally chill as well: if I saw a handsome dude in one of these I’d be like “Sick, a hot dad who trepanned an infant and is now siphoning cerebrospinal fluid out of the opening, I’ll take three Budweisers and a caipirinha for that infant that looks so thirsty.”

In conclusion, this is a great idea. If the Kickstarter reaches its goal, Phillion will manufacture more Cool Babies in China, and according to Brokelyn, he plans to eventually make some non-white Cool Babies, to which I say: nah we’re good.