A couple of weeks ago we wrote about She's a Homewrecker, a website started by a woman who goes by the name Ariella Alexander that offers a forum for women who would like to publicly shame the Other Woman in their lives. To some, She's a Homewrecker put too much of the onus of cheating on the woman a man cheats with, and not on the man being fought over. But hearing the siren call from half a population not given the opportunity to air their grievances, Alexander just launched a new site: He's a Homewrecker.
Shortly after our post on She's a Homewrecker went up, a woman alleging to be the woman who calls herself Ariella Alexander commented, arguing that her site is fair because it shames only women who get involved with men and know they're in a relationship already. At the same time, she said she expects these homewreckers to act better than they do:
We ONLY expose the women who CHOOSE to become involved with involved men. If you read the Exposures you will see that most of the "alleged Homewreckers" comment themselves. They make comments such as "if he was so happy with you, he wouldn't be with me". Or some of my favorites, as in "Thats why I f*** your husband B**ch."
The truth is, I expect more from women. If women actually respected other women and their relationships, men would be unable to cheat. There is a thing called "Girl Code" too bad not many women follow that. As far as the cheating man? Of course we know he is at fault too but this is the page to blast the homewrecker.
All of that Girl Code aside, Alexander went on to reveal that she was launching a site to shame the men involved, which would be called He's a Homewrecker. At first, it seemed like He's A Homewrecker would be a site exclusively for men to write about the men that stole their ladies from them. But no: He's a Homewrecker "is here to expose the Cheating Man in your life who has broken your heart into pieces" — OR "the man who just couldn't stay away from your wife/girlfriend!" So, it's a place to retread territory and place blame on the cheating men who haven't been attacked enough, plus, give men the opportunity to do the same.
So far, the most of the few posts that make up the site have been written by women who want to shame their exes, though a couple are from men who have been cheated on. (As is the case with She's a Homewrecker, almost all the relationships are straight ones.) Like on She's a Homewrecker, the comments appear to be predominantly from women, though the men who have written posts and who are commenting on stories seem just as passionate about the topic as the women.
After our piece went up about She's a Homewrecker, Alexander quickly capitalized on the attention, appearing in a segment about the site on Good Morning America (the site was also featured on the Daily Mail). GMA didn't use her real name during that segment, but a Joy Marielle Tobon of Baltimore, Maryland is linked to the email address firstname.lastname@example.org (the name of her personal blog where she's written at length about the woman her husband cheated on her with, which has been made private since we first wrote about She's a Homewrecker) and the company Exposed by Ariella LLC or just Ariella LLC through a previously registered the domain exposinghismistress.com that Alexander/Tobon has since let lapse. Exposinghismistress.com was registered to the same address as a bail bond company called Strong Arm Bail Bonds, which seems to have had a few different addresses and names, but is now known as Baltimore City Bail Bonds/Prestige Bail Bonds, according to a Twitter account registered to Joy Tobon.
That Twitter account is also followed by a Joy Marielle, who has not yet tweeted. The last time @Strongarmbail tweeted was in 2011, shortly before She's a Homewrecker launched. That's around the same time that, according to her Facebook page, Alexander/Tobon bought herself a new car.
"...if one woman can just say 'Oh my god, I do not want to end up on this website,' because your life's going to be destroyed," Alexander/Tobon explained to GMA, presumably after being asked what she hopes the site accomplishes.
In our comments, Alexander/Tobon wrote that it's not her responsibility to be check the truth behind these stories (and criticized Jezebel for pointing out the random focus on children with cancer that has cropped up on the Facebook page for She's A Homewrecker):
I provide a platform and it is up to the individual to use it.
I don't have a problem with what I do. As far as the stories? 30% of what I receive makes it to the website -unlike other sites similar in nature that post everything they received because we are not liable. However, a betrayed woman has a tone that most often cannot be duplicated. Sorry, these women need to be exposed. Half of these stories are of the best friend sleeping with the husband. I guess they didn't know right? Please. . .Next. . .
Tobon/Alexander wrote that she doesn't "expose" people who are under 21 on her sites, even though she legally could. She also says she doesn't verify the allegations people send her, but if they include screenshots of messages or any proof of cheating, she does post those. One woman who GMA profiled who ended up on the site said she was lied to by the man who cheated on his wife with her, explaining she was worried future employers might not hire her because the post about her on She's a Homewrecker.
But back to children with cancer: Alexander/Tobon wants to make it clear that the strange appearance that advocating for childhood cancer fundraising makes on her site isn't so strange. It's a really important issue:
Only 4% of Federal funding for Cancer goes to kids, today 250 children will die from cancer and Childhood Cancer is the leading cause of death by disease in children under 15. The NFL has REFUSED to go gold and no one wants to talk about it because it is just too sad. . .Well I want to talk about it and I will use EVERY and ANY platform I have. A little measly website like mine went gold the ENTIRE month of September (and 3 weeks in October) and discussed the devastating affects of Childhood Cancer daily on my Facebook page. Guess what? I dropped likes so fast and my numbers plummeted, but. . .I don't care. I will spend my life spreading awareness. Perhaps a HUGE website like yours should too, I mean this website is worth more than a 1/2 billion dollars right? Bet my little Website donated more money to Childhood Cancer this past year than yours. . .Ijs. .
That's true; your website has definitely donated more money to children with cancer than ours has. Thanks for the public shaming. .Ijs.
Images via GMA/He's a Homewrecker/She's A Homewrecker