A little dingleberry hanging from the butt of humanity named Justin Bieber peed in a restaurant mop bucket in New York earlier this year because he is an ingrate, and there’s a video. As previously evidenced by shenanigans at that Vegas indoor skydiving place, El Beebo and his posse continuously target the employees of venues rather than other customers, which has historically been a surefire litmus test of utter douchebaggery. Meanwhile, his friends blithely kiss his ass and cheer him on. And the pants. Jesus. So bad.
At the end of the video he sprays a picture of Bill Clinton with cleaner fluid and says “Fuck Bill Clinton.” [TMZ]
“I want to be a mom one day, and I want to start becoming the woman who I want to parent my child,” Nicki Minaj says in the cover story of the August issue of Marie Claire, and doles out simply amazing advice for the rest of us Muggles:
“Don’t chase any man. Put your school first. Men love independent women. You don’t have to be a bitch, but there’s nothing wrong with it at times. And: Men are kids at heart. They want to be nourished and pet like a dog.”
She also reveals she wanted to be a lawyer when she was younger. ” “I just loved the thought of going into a courtroom with mostly men and defending someone — just being able to persuade people with your words. It seems glamorous in a way. Very inspiring and ballsy.” [NYDN, Us Weekly, Marie Claire]
Amanda Bynes appeared in Manhattan criminal court over Bongthrow 2013 yesterday wearing an aquamarine wig and an Alvin Ailey tank top because she’s trolling us all. She was also blathering about not wanting any press around, smirked, and talked to herself. Neato. [NYDN]
Kevin Jonas, the Jonas with a reality show who did not break up with Taylor Swift on the phone, is expecting his first child with wife Danielle.
It’s true @daniellejonas is pregnant! can’t even imagine how excited we are I can’t wait to share this with my best friend. I love you baby.
— kevin jonas (@kevinjonas) July 9, 2013
So that is a thing that’s happening. Let the neutral emotions commence. [People]
Ellen Page on Hollywood sexism:
“Oh my God, yeah! It’s constant! It’s how you’re treated, it’s how you’re looked at, how you’re expected to look in a photoshoot, it’s how you’re expected to shut up and not have an opinion. If you’re a girl and you don’t fit the very specific vision of what a girl should be, which is always from a man’s perspective, then you’re a little bit at a loss.”
Preach. [People]
- George Clooney and Stacy Keibler Elf broke up over the phone but at least she has fudge cookies in a tree. [TMZ]
- Beyoncé posted an adorable picture of a little Jay-Z’s school graduation photo with the caption “Bow Down” to celebrate Magna Carta Holy Grail going platinum. [E!]
- Randy Travis was given “the world’s smallest heart pump.” [TMZ]
- Congratulations to TMZ for the headline “Angelina Jolie — My Post-Mastectomy breasts… ARE AWESOME!!!!” Thus proving that if you put a bunch of monkeys in a room with typewriters, Shakespearean dialogue is eventually inevitable. [TMZ]
- Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth possibly got back together in Canada. [People]
- Channing Tatum’s baby daughter exists, still looks like a baby. You know how that thrills me. [Us Weekly]
- Selma Blair went ombre. [Us Weekly]
- Kind of the best thing in the world: Steven Tyler accidentally crashed the wedding reception of a Washington D.C. real estate broker and his new wife. In the words of Icona Pop, I don’t care, I love it. [Page Six]
- “Chris Noth, Stephen Baldwin and Luis Guzman will host a birthday bash” for someone inconsequential but OH MY GOD CAN I GO? [Page Six]
- Jennifer Lopez was “homeless” at age 18. [NYDN]
- Meredith Viera will host her own daytime talk show called Not Katie Couric, Stop Asking Me Where Katie Couric Is. [NYDN]
- The director of The Canyons said Lindsay Lohan is our Marilyn Monroe. “Tardiness, unpredictability, tantrums, absences, neediness, psychodrama—yes, all that, but something more, that thing that keeps you watching someone on screen, that thing you can’t take your eyes off of, that magic, that mystery.” [E!]
- Some douche wrote “I heart Rob” in the dust on Kristen Stewart’s pickup truck. [Us Weekly]
- Khloe Kardashian has maybe kicked Lamar Odom out for cheating on her, says a “source,” a.k.a. raccoon in Stacy Keibler’s tree. [Radar Online]