I have a video for everyone out there who watched Maleficent and quietly spent hundreds of dollars in contour makeup products to capture the perfect high cheekbone look, only to realize the end result is less "Evil Disney Queen" and more "Real Housewives of Fort Wayne."

Thanks to Cosplay Class, we now have this tutorial to talk us through the steps of becoming one of Disney's most evil villains. (Just in time for Halloween, too!) From watching the video, I have gathered that any brave soul willing to try this will only need a few minor products and tools, such as a lot of spirit gum, wax, wine, expertly manicured blue nails, a hair bow, talent for blending, alcohol (the non-wine kind), more wine, a palette knife, liquid latex, cotton swabs, paint brushes, tons more wine, a blow dryer, water-based makeup, other makeup shit and a whole lot of patience. And PRESTO, you are ready to storm Disney World and take over the Magic Kingdom like a boss. Now go seek out the virginal blonde blessed princess who wronged you before her birth and get making with your evil spells!