Here's a Song to Say Happy Birthday to People You Don't Care About

By Mark Shrayber | September 3, 2014 | 3:45am

There’s nothing more dreaded than that pink box on your Facebook dashboard that tells you that one or more people have birthdays today. And there’s nothing worse than figuring out whether you have to write something (to someone who you have no idea friending) or whether a like will do. You want them to wish you a happy birthday, too, after all.

Garfunkel and Oates, the geniuses behind every catchy ukelele song about how weird life is and also that one ditty about Precious Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire, are here to save the day by reminding you it’s okay to write an HBD and put a few exclamation points down somewhere and be done with it. Because it’s Facebook. So just relax and do what I do: Like the post the birthday person makes thanking everyone for all the wishes. Still counts!